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Tuesday, April 11, 2006

i'm not gona blog much today. now i'm experiencing one of the shittiest moments of my life. nothing could get rid of the feeling. it's always up there in head, like super-glued there. my feelings. for. you. i have insomnia, nothing new about that, but now its condition had worsened. thanks to the feeling up there. everytime i lie my head against my pillow, i close my eyes, i keep seeing you. and wtf, you just couldnt be erased from my head. it's like a curse, i know i'm cursed to stay single forever. now every day to me seems so cold, no matter how scorching hot the sun can be, because of you. it's so hard.. to not think of it. the bouquet of wilted roses i saw in my sister's room, would only make my eyes water. i lost my appetite completely. i didnt eat for this whole day so far. after what happened yesterday. a few buttons pressed on my cell, after that my life became shrouded in darkness. i felt like a loser, an idiot. even though my last relationship didnt last well but that was 3 years ago, i put that chapter behind. iii just want to be with you...

you said of what happened in the past, made u result into making this decision.
but the thing is, you also said that you dont wana think of the past anymore.
isnt that contradictory?

there is nothing i could do. i could only respect the decision that you've already made.
even though i do not agree with it.

i must force myself to resume my normal life, love can cause so much grief, yet so much happiness.

there is only one thing i could hope for, a miracle. the day you change your mind about what you said. i HIGHLY DOUBT SO. i could only cry and keep my fingers crossed every night.

i just need some time to be alone now. goodbye. i like you jbean.

: (
Purple Rose;
5:07 AM