im feeling gay and hell tired. things have been turning ugly recently and i have no choice but to live it. thats the sad part about reality. the last night i simply couldnt sleep for the similar reasons la, thank god there were live soccer matches to watch and that made me feel slightly better. 630am. mom woke up, and i was forced to eat her crappy pills again. then i simply just lied down on the bed all the way till 930, when i finally got to sleep. forcing those thoughts out of my head. crying doesnt solve anything. it's pointless. i woke up later to shower after only 3 hours of pathetic sleep, and great, my heater's busted. i bathed in icy water. everything is turning against me. and i really felt like fuck in the mrt later, my head hurts and i felt like vomitting, my eyes are bloodshot and i never felt this bad before. hunger, depression.
and now im back home. im just gona kiss myself goodnight and try to gain back all the lost hours of sleep.
to someone, you know who you are. it's alright, even though i might be weighed down by your words, life is not always rosy as i always said, i have to bear with it. i push myself to smile and hold back a tear. but we're still friends, arent we? ; )
all those times, you cheered me up, i thank you. such a really nice friend. brought me up back to my feet when i was down. the only thing i cant change is the decision you've made. i respect your decision nevertheless. i only wish for one thing.. but sadly that'll never happen.
hope that words will move you. i'll always be here for you, and waiting.
Purple Rose; 3:58 AM
Monday, May 29, 2006
the time is now 3am. i'm yawning. im tired. but i'll just blog as per normal. my position in my chair now is sloppy as im typign this entry. my eyeballs are falling out of their sockets. almost la. there is nothing much to blog today actually. because i woke up so late as usual. 430pm, yet again -_- it is really 430pm on the dot. wondering maybe it could be a curse or wat. then just slacked in front of the computer screen for the whole day, until i had to entertain someone later.
all the way till 7pm. phew. if mom knew about this. i'll be dead. i was damn lucky ok. plus a very pressuring grandma. a departure of 1 minute later would result in death. then i didnt bathe for the whole damn day. just changed into some home clothes with my wacko hair, a natural out of bed look, but it looks like shit la. only bathed at 8pm. the heater is getting more and more screwed per day. sometimes the water is icyyyyyyyy cold, and wtf? i thought i blasted the heat meter to maximum? it felt like running naked out in the open during winter. and this is the part which pisses me off more, halfway through out my ultra icy bath, the water suddenly becomes fucking hot, and now i get burnt -_-
then put on some fresh new clothes and left home later at around 930pm to go out. shant go into further detail about la, only shall highlight some parts when i was out late into the night. i was in the MRT, crowded like hell, and the time is 10pm -_- then finally later i got to sit down. then there was this stupid indian man who kept staring at me non stop for about 20 minutes straight. fucking creepy idiot. later when he alighted, he kept turning round and looking at me too. if i had a knife i will stab his eyes. so i suspect he's a gay. gays fucking scare me. especially those bold ones who try to hit on you. they all need to be stabbed to death.
i was realllllly relieved after that idiotic indian man left the train. hope he dies in a freak accident later. fast forward. im back at the mall below my place at 1am to buy a drink as my body is dehydrated once again. and this TIME, i bought soya bean, no teas. then walked my usual route back home, passed the kopitiam. and i saw something realllllly interesting. there was some commotion happening outside the kopitiam. one big group of people. and the main stars were these two guys. they were at each others' throats. hahhah. the usual stuff la. bengs fighting. i bet it was over some stupid reason. like a stare, an accidental push, or u flirt with my stead, cheebye i buay song! hahah, i have to admit it's fun imitating them as it's hilarious. then when these two guys were quarelling, their faces were so close together, spitting saliva into each others' faces and from far view, they looked like as if they were smooching. ahhh. i could have grabbed a bag of popcorn and sit to enjoy the free show, but i didnt feel like it la. so i just went back home.
and now here i am. i had this certain feeling now. just now i felt dead tired as stated in my opening paragraph of this entry. and now, miraculously feel so energetic, no longer tired -_- wtf is this.... bad enough for me to already have a fucked up body clock, but with this? no words could describe it la. tomorrow, i have plans to go to town for some solo shopping. i hope i dont wake up at 430pm again.
just to follow up from carrot's latest blog entry. some stuff. yes, i feel that love may be risky, but it revolves around the two people in the relationship. first off, a strong bond is required among these two, and maturity is also another major factor which plays an important role in the key to a successful and long lasting relationship. so, im just saying that when ur in a relationship, it doesnt mean you'll neglect your friends who are always there for you. if you probably do, it shows that you are probably selfish up there. so, to be in a relationship first, you have to ask yourself, are you ready for this? will you neglect your friends, will you let him or her down? will you screw this up like in the past? urgh. i guess i'll end here.
still stricken with insomnia.
the ache in my heart is always there. every night.
it will continue hurting always, until one day i decide to finally open up.
sometimes i wonder if love is good or bad thing.
i think of you every night.
IF ONLY.
Purple Rose; 12:03 PM
Sunday, May 28, 2006
crap. im blogging now at friggin 7am! i idled the whole night just now and didnt even realise that the sky was sooooOO bright outside. fuck. was chatting with my fellow bandmate on the phone just now and didnt realise i had been talking for so long with him, not until my mom opened my door and started nagging like hell. lol, i understand her la. my mother is forcing me to sleep now so im trying to keep my post short but detailed as possible. and i havent even showered for the whole night -_-
SUNDAY. i woke up, received an sms. it was 430pm. i slept for fucking 13 and half hours! i had plans. i decided to get a present for my dad. i know, i've been quite a bad son. it was both our fault la. but before that, i decided to scan the ads inside the papers for jobs. i found one. i called and the job seemed sucky, door to door sales. that would mean it's highly based on commission. thats so gay. my eyes are burning now due to the sunshine pouring in, getting increasingly brighter. i must learn to type faster. then i quickly showered, and left for CP. met human S and her cousins. ate at mac. oops. i broke a promise. human S tried to steal my wallet -_- but thanks to my quick and deadly reflexes, she never succeeded > : )
ate the new mcpepper meal. tasted like shit to me. the only thing decent was the twister fries. a copied idea from the once famous, now defunct, A&W. oooooh. how much i miss the food there. the curly fries, root beer float, waffles. ICECREAM. fuck fuck. shant think of food now. i need to bury myself into the bed. then i went to search for a polo tee for my dad at royal sporting house, fuck la, $50. so that was wayyyyy beyond my budget of $20. so i decided to buy it either today, a monday or tuesday when im going out to town to shop alone. a late birthday is so much better than not giving a birthday present at all. then after that, we went our separate ways. i didnt wanna go back so fast, so i decided to exercise and did some brisk walking all the way to RP and take 88 there instead. it was good exercise anyway. then reached RP, went to piss, then saw carrot and company. met her for 30 seconds or less than i left after i bought my drink. she looks damn good girl now due to that new hairstyle haha. the bus was so quick today.
reached back home. i told myself to stay away from chocolates. and peach tea. and green tea, and pineapple tea, and orange tea, all the T. they are poison to my bloodstream. i dont want my insomnia to worsen. and now im still awake, maybe i should just stay awake the whole day today. i dont know la. i think i should just go sleep. anyway back to blogging. the time is 130am. i was fucking bored. i went to switch on the tv. the channels suck. so i just watched channel U for fun and laughter. nickelodeon was showing Rugrats. i fucking hate Rugrats! then later i went back to my room to find something worthy to do. then i started feeling emotional. i'm thinking about those stuff again. so i just picked up my guitar and i composed a song on the spot. recorded over 6 times because i had sweaty palms. here's the song anyway.
music is my life, my passion. i really want my band to get back to jamming ASAP. and i really hope that i could find a job. i have 2 friggin months of holidays left. i wanna make my free time worthwhile by working and earning the extra income for good so i could learn to be independant and buy somemore new clothes : D now im kinda into bright colors for shirts, my latest shirt is Turquoise in color. somehow i dont like the idea of red shirts. i only wear them at home. black is sexy. blue is steamy. purple is da THANG. i still will like that color no matter what people say. call me gay or whatever i wont be affected. i really think i should end the entry now. the sun is killing me already.
i've hung up my guns.
insomnia really sucks.
she's not the only reason for it.
i will never forget you.
i wish i could have the courage to say it all out.
i'm tired of keeping it all inside for so long.
IF ONLY.
Purple Rose; 1:26 PM
Saturday, May 27, 2006
urgh. actually i didnt feel like blogging totally today. but somehow, i tried to sleep, then i heard a soft faint voice, "why are you ignoring me, i need to be updated..." so i just got up for once and told myself, just give it 15 minutes to blog whatever is on my mind and then go back to bed. and now here i am, blogging. shall talk about today before i move on to other stuff. yesterday was my dad's birthday. my mom actually told me, "please, forgive him, he's ur father, you cant go on ignoring him forever." my heart may be as cold as alaska sometimes, but otherwise, usually my heart is full of warmth, but im still confused la. should i or should i not. mom told me to get him a small gift at least because i never bought anything for his birthday in my life before. so im contemplating now, whether i should go out to buy him anything on a sunday afternoon later. i still dont know.
anyway yesterday i woke up early because of a full bladder, at 1115am. before i left, i used a new hair product, some spray which claims that it could hold a certain desired hairstyle for hours with a firm grip after wax use. it worked pretty well. my hair didnt harden up like concrete. nevertheless, im still unsatisfied with my hairstyle, i just feel uncomfortable with it la. it's just too straight and annoying. the Great Singapore Sale starts today. i reached class early and this time, my class had changed location, and there were 2 new students. this really old dude, he really is, and this lady. i sat allllllllllllll the way at the back, being my usual anti social self. then Watanabe Sensei told me to partner up with Angeline-san, the new 14 year old student who just joined our class a week ago. she seems warm and friendly, starting up conversations. class was better today, i didnt realise i had been learning japanese for 5 months already. time flies sooooo quick. after class i left and went for lunch at the foodcourt at wisma on the high floor. i bought 2 cheese pratas and sadly i only managed to eat one and half prata. the amount of cheese was suffocating me la, i think it was too much cheese stuffed into a prata. then i was really thirsty halfway throughout the meal and im eating alone, so i couldnt buy a drink without leaving my table. fortunately there was this lady pushing a cart of drinks moving around, and she happened to stop beside my table. she spoke to me in chinese and called me "xiao di di" -_- i gave her that "do i look THAT young?!" look, but still i got my drink. $1.40 for one bloody can drink. cant blame, im in TOWN. all stuff in town is expensive. high rent wat.
town was crawling with people. duh. it's a freaking SATURDAY wat. i had to squeeze myself through crowds, thank god for my small built, i made through crowds with ease. with nothing in mind and ipod battery running low, i decided that i should just go home. reached CP at 6. looked at the funfair. guess i'm gona flag it goodbye soon. i'll miss your rides. even though u are ripping us off. nothing matches for the fun we had. and thus, that ends my day.
now i've kinda pissed with two people i know. first off, this guy is one year my junior, he is undeniably a dumb person. i'm only irritated by his character. one thing, i know one of his aims in life is to get to know as many girls as he could, stupid aim, really. and he always aims to impress girls all the time. so im sick of this. he once claimed that all girls are "childish" what a loser statement, for a person who is never successful in achieving his goal to get a girl in his life.
another guy im pissed with is my ex schoolmate. now he's left school, in "college" and recently i invited him to have a jamming session together like in the old school days. he never said anything, i named a few titles for jamming, he slammed the songs immediately, saying it is not "hardcore" enough for him. i wasnt so pissed yet until i asked him, "then what songs do you play?" and after that what he said, i think he's really a fucking asshole. he never wanted to reveal his list of songs and told me the only to find out is to go for his gig, then he boasted that his gig was always fullhouse whenever he was playing. from the rude tone of his, his level of arrogance is sky high. i dont fucking care how good your band plays, i will still hate you, to me, a good band not only plays good music, but also maintain a level of being humble at least.
my attempts to search and apply for a part time job are still in vain. all the fucking ads are mostly bogus, and some dont even pick up the fucking phone at all. whats the use of putting in the ads then?! nvm, there is still tomorrow, the day after tomorrow, the day after tomorrow's tomorrow and so on. i will never stop browsing through ads. i still have 2 friggin months of holidays. may lady luck be on my side. lastly, credit for salina, we're back on even terms. i was an asshole la last time. now. it's different.
i'll pull myself together for this.
sometimes tears well up in eyes when i think of this. i try my hardest to hold them back.
because boys dont cry.
the thousand "what if's" came back to my mind. it's all about you.
that one and only person.
just that, i have to say this.
i like you.
Purple Rose; 1:42 PM
Friday, May 26, 2006
urgh. today. i cried. really i did, for the first time in duno how many years. and it was not long ago too. it was because..... because............ i ate spicy food thats why. it really was too much for my tongue to take it la, but nevertheless, it tasted great, thats why i had to urge to continue stuffing into my mouth non stop, unaware that my tongue was in flames. then my tears just stream down naturally. haha.
today, i did quite a number of stuff, and now, im glad that i actually feel tired and ready to turn in any moment. the time is 155am. it is still a crappy time la, but it is so MUCH better than turning in at 630am every single goddamn day. nothing happened in the daytime, but after 7pm, i actually started doing my homework. wow. im a very last minute type of guy, so considering that i'm actually doing homework now is a miracle. i feel confident of the work after i'm done with it too, another plus. btw, thats only for japanese homework. my music homework is sandwiched somewhere in the mountain piles of papers on my study table. the only sad thing is that i dont have a proper place to actually sit down and do my work comfortably. my own study table is too small and cramped up with books and other sources of junk. no, my room isnt dirty, it's just that it is a little small compared to any other room's of other average teenagers. so following that, my study table is small. the last time i attempted to study there was last year, it was hell la. i only "study" in the living room. the dining table there. and one more thing, i could never do my work without music. it's just me, no music, no momentum, so no work done.
just imagine the world without music. no ipods, no nothing. you could picture in ur mind how zombie-like the community of people here would be. back to where i was. oh ya, after the homework part. i noticed something was not right. the time is about 9pm. and no one is back home, my mom usually reaches home normally at about 715pm everyday. but today is different. lol, im happy la, the freedom! then at 1030pm, i left my home, and walked all the way to hougang interchange -_- to meet muneh and retrieve my baby(psp) . it was good exercise la, the long distance,and the temperatures are fine, the winds are cooling, but i still end up sweating. got my psp. and walked back home, and took a longer route this time. and went past my ex-sch. i dislike the sight of it. this place is a jail. went to 7 eleven nearby, and met some really old schoolmates. lol, after all these years they still recognised me. walked up further and reached a new pasar malam. it was 1130pm already, so much stamina, they all stilll havent close yet. saw the same few burger stalls and same staff -_- and i kinda got sick of burgers la then i went to buy something else. Macaroni. i asked the woman, "how much is this?" she said, "2 dollars each." there were quite an assortment of food la, then i decided to buy 2, the macaroni and some spicy noodle. then i handed the woman a $10 note. and she gave me back $8. wtf hahahh. i feel like a bastard now. i knew she gave me the wrong change, a surplus of $2 but i still walked away happily. hahah. but... im still a good and nice guy at heart ok. i helped so many elderly people across the street. hahah.
then i walked back home. phew. that was a tiring night of long distance walking. but it was for good la. at least now, i cant wait to jump into bed. tomorrow's a saturday, my favourite day of the week. oh ya, forgot to mention this earlier. the jobs ads that i cut out the night before, most of the jobs were out. fuck. applications closed already, too late. i still looked in today's paper for somemore ads, and there was this contradictory ad which pissed me off. it stated there FOR STUDENTS, i called, she asked my age, i said 18, she said she's not looking for 18 year olds. im irritated la. the $50 a day part in the ad attracted me. i havent called up the ad for that 7 eleven job yet. that ad is kinda old so i think most probably the slot should be taken already -_- nvm, look on the bright side, for tomorrow's ads and theres still one more ad which i havent called up yet. looking for students to man a drinks stall at causeway point.
urgh. i feel so tired already. guess im off to bed.
you are the light in my pitch black heart.
similar to the glow of a firefly.
it is a joy to have a person like you in my life.
im still waiting for that day to come, which never seems to be coming.
IF ONLY.
Purple Rose; 10:50 AM
Thursday, May 25, 2006
here comes another early bird entry. it's 542am. but i think i've stayed up for a rather good reason, done something worthwhile. i went to the storeroom and dug up a pile of month old newspapers, and i took the trouble to go through every single rugged, old newspaper's ad section, and i've noticed that some ads never fail to appear for every single copy of newspaper, and as expected, it's those bogus jobs, mostly surveyors, boasting "high" pays and commission. i was right all along, these jobs are gay. so it's best to ignore them. at the end of it all, i snipped out several part time job ads, which i think are worthy of calling up and enquiring about, and they are piled nicely on my table now, phew, and now, i finally get to rest. yup, almost all are for students. my only fear is that there are no more vacancies left. while going through the papers, i found this particular part which tickled my insides, lol, quite funny la. here is it:
on the last day of kindergarten, all the children brought presents for their teacher. the florist's son handed the teacher a gift. she shook it, held it up and said, "I bet it's some flowers!" "that's right!" shouted the little boy. then the candy store owner's daughter handed the teacher a gift. she held it, shook it and said, "I bet I know what it is! It's a box of candy!" "That's right!" shouted the little girl. the next and final gift was from the liquor store owner's son. the teacher held it up again and saw that it was leaking. she touched a drop with her finger and tasted it. "Is it wine?" she asked. "No," the boy answered. The teacher tasted another drop. "Is it champagne?" she asked. And once again, the boy shook it his head and gave a similar answer. "Then what is it?" she asked. The boy answered, "It's a Puppy!"
alright, i think im kinda tired now, and i need my precious sleep. im off.
do you feel it yet? all these hinting, only leads to my one and only ulterior motive. sometimes i still wonder whether you actually know or not.
Purple Rose; 2:45 PM
hi. kinda didnt blog in the past few days as i was away on my 3 day 2 night holiday at skull island. it was fun there. i met kingkong. okok back to where i was blogging. hmmm, i seem to have a short term memory and now i forgot what im supposed to be typing. oh ya now i remember. the last time i updated was on monday and now is... oh, a friday morning already.
Tuesday. nothing to blog about that day actually. a regular pigging day. as usual i wouldnt leave my room until that fucker went out. then i was actually damn hungry but i couldnt bare to go eat downstairs as the food sucked. then i geared up and went to the pasar malam near CP at about 6pm. then walked a marathon to RP, received an sms and frowned. then walked another marathon back to CP. if not for my ipod, i would have died of boredom. the funfair near the night market was a ghost town. really. the crazy surf ride... not a single soul around. that goes the same for the pirate ship ride too. so i reached the burger stall, it was a relief la, im panting after that walkathon i just participated in. bought 3 burgers. took the gold, and left for home. been out for only an hour. how boring is that.
wednesday. alarm clock starting pissing me off at 11am. i switched it off and went back to sleep till 1330. rushed through and left the house at 1410. reached class at 1450. i am actually EARLY! teacher was surprised when she saw me. this means that miracles can happen. finished class and i set off for some solo shopping. wait, before that, i walked around the building area, and i saw a local celebrity in some health shop. Jacelyn Tay. weird. of all places i see her here. walked to city link, an array of shops greeted me, none to my appeal, until i saw one shop. newurbanmale. the shirts look decent from a far. but not anymore when i reached near the shop. all damn huge! for giants. then i left the shop immediately. bought 2 puffs at PP's since theyre cheap and good. sat new some bookshop and ate. then continued off to marina square, and that's when i found the place to buy my shirt. $36. urgh my precious money flying away... went to read mags at the bookshop as it was still hell early before meeting time at CP. reached CP later at 615, im soooo early. muneh arrived at 630, carrot and company arrived later. actually before carot and muneh arrived, i saw from a distant, a shadow, so i remembered those words that i kept, ignored the shadow. proceeded to the funfair, i needed to dehydrate myself so i downed 2 cups of drinks. cheap, but refreshing. then later, something unexpected cropped up, and we need to get our asses back to CP -_-
to the funfair part. took crazy surf once more it was fun again la, but the price was not worth yet again. then took another ride this time. just me, carotcake and a shadow. ride had some adrenaline pumping in but it was too short though. i felt like puking a little. my head was spinning la. bought 2 burgers. muneh came by my place a while to rob me off my psp. then that was it, whole day rounded up. pretty long and tiring day. BUT, i still slept at 630 -_- so sorry consultant, i took one small sip of peach tea. sinful, it cost me my sleep.
come thursday. did absolutely nothing. fuck it. stupid boring days at home. my homework has been piling up endlessly. teachers are being heartless this time round. then i browsed ads and found a few part time jobs. i have a feeling that some ads are actually exaggerating, like $80 a day for a surveyor's job is insane. from what i know, most surveyor jobs usually get paid by how many surveys they successful complete in a day, paid per survey, thats it. no surveys done no money. and how many people will actually stop to complete a survey, almost everyone is in a rush, and they'll most probably walk past u as if u didnt exist. it's just hard to find a temp job for the hols la, since it's the june hols, it already explains why. students would already have jobs by then, and that leaves no vacancies for those unlucky few. hopefully i could find that Ice Cream Job ASAP. job hunting continues tomorrow.
one more thing to talk about. siblings having almost identical voices. once i remember my particular jam-mate, he had no cellphone, so troublesome la. the only way to confirm meetings with him was to call his house phone. and i have no damn idea that he has a brother, so our conversation went like this.
friend's bro: hello? me: eh, we're confirmed jamming later right? friend's bro: huh? me: go and die la, stop fooling around. friend's bro: who are you? me: stop acting dumb please. you havent tell me yet, so are we... friend's bro: *hangs up*
i swear it is almost impossible to tell their voices apart. then my friend himself called me later and explained to me that i was talking to his bro all the while -_- identity crisis.
anyway, june holidays are in, and it spells both advantages and disadvantages. firstly, everyone would be relieved to finally have a well deserved break after hell in school, the exams, stupid teachers, and so on. but one thing, orchard road isnt gona be as quiet as it used to be on weekdays, and i could bet 50cents with anyone that reads my blog that Escape Theme Park as well as Wild Wild Wet would be crawling with students, and the queues would be never ending. sigh. cant escape this anyway. it is meant to be.
before ending today's entry. i'd like to say something. that i am still pissed with that person, and i find talking to that person a sore, even though i thought i was cool with it for a second, but im sooo wrong. you try so hard to get my attention, u succeeded, and u piss me off once again. wtf is this. from now on, i'm not gonna bother entirely. and no, im not petty.
i see something in you. something worthwhile.
i guess you still have no idea about this, it seems pretty obvious already.
can i be the knight in rusty armour for you, my maiden?
though you are locked up in a tower far away, nothing shall stop me from reaching you as my determination is there, and stronger than ever.
no knight templars, archers, hordes of monsters will stop me.
i will fight my way to you, up there, and retrieve you safely, even though im left battered and bleeding.
just to see you.
if ONLY.
Purple Rose; 9:00 AM
Monday, May 22, 2006
a very good morning. the time is now five fifty six in the morning. im still not asleep yet. i've dumped eating chips and tortillas every midnight snack already. i've changed to... peanuts. lots and lots of peanuts. the total lifestyle of a pig. this whole night, i did nothing but sit in front of the tv, eating 3 packets of peanuts, finishing two packets. my body clock is still fucked. i keep seeing people going offline one by one, all of them are human, except for me and a few other guys who kinda have the same problem as me. we should start an insomnia club. maybe i could be the chairman and we could organise some night activities to keep us from slacking and at least, doing something worth our time. crap. i dont know how long i'm gonna stay this way. my mom is getting more pissed with my vampire lifestyle.
i like darkness, bright rays of sunshine repel me. i looked outside the window just now. the floors are wet. it must have drizzled just now without me knowing. the air is so cool. and i feel that switching on the aircon in my room is only wasting electricity since the temperatures are already just fine. all i need to do is leave the window slightly open.
someone is gonna wake up soon to prepare for school. not only someone, actually quite a number of people. i'm seriously sick of having a holiday for too long. especially when im jobless, only made matters worse. july 24th. still a way long time to go. urgh. i feel utterly bored typing this meaningless entry. i guess im gonna turn in now.
to kiss the one i love goodnight.
Purple Rose; 2:52 PM
today is by far, the most boring day in my life. i woke up around 11am. found it useless to be waking up so early with no plans in mind. called mom and asked her to call a music center to enquire about a certain product that i wanna buy. the answer i got was, no stock. argh. i hate that reason. guess i have to wait another 2 weeks more. and after that, i resumed sleeping all the way till 1630.
got up again. this time reluctant to walk to the kitchen as there was a fucker in the house. so i stayed in and the computer kept me company until 1720 or so. then went out of my room. no sign of him. great. the sky was damn sexy. it was really dark. and it feels like as if it's 1900 when its only just 1730. then i remembered. i havent eaten a single thing for the whole day. so i went off to shower and by the time i finished, outside was pouring like hell. slipped on a patriotic shirt today. i enjoy sitting on my sister's bed, facing the window, and observing the raindrops, with window slightly left ajar so that the cool winds could blew against my face. so nice.
The rains didnt last long. by 15 minutes, it was reduced to pathetic drizzling, and by the time i went downstairs, it wasnt raining totally at all. took a detour from the back of hougang point. the burger stall is gone already. damn. anyway, it's so unhealthy, so the more i should rejoice. then went up to NTUC. NTUC is another place which brings back memories. this particular NTUC near my place of course. back in the old school days. we used to walk endless rounds around the supermarket as it was kinda fun, and sometimes the obvious guys would go around destroying crackers. as in, there is this packet of crackers, and one of us simply crushes whats inside with his hands and we'll wonder which unlucky person would buy that packet of "dust". it's childish la, but i still do it sometimes, to remind me of the good old times. nostalgia attack once in a while.
back to where i was -_- i wondered around the supermarket in search of what to buy. bought a bottle of peach tea concentrate, 2 AAA size batteries and this BIY(bake-it-urself) pizza. the woman at the counter spoke to me in chinese -_- the bill came up to $14.80 kinda expensive for purely 3 stuff.
i can compare RP to hougang point. Similarities, both malls are small and boring, and a group of slackers wouldnt wanna go to these 2 places again after one day of purely slacking there. both malls have a reasonable amount of fast food outlets and accompanied well with food courts. amenities are sufficient in these 2 malls, there are food outlets, clinics, supermarkets and so on.
and here is the VERDICT. although hougang point is smaller compared to RP, it would still win over because of one reason. there is a place for entertainment, though sucky, but at least it exists which RP doesnt have. an Arcade. and ya, both places still suck anyway.
CP is no better. as any human could see, im extremely bored. thats why im doing this crappy comparison above. we need a movie theatre in the heartlands. sometimes, for certain movies, i would feel that it isnt worth my time travelling allllllll the way to town just to watch. there was one at hougang the last time. and i dont understand why it closed down. maybe not making enough money. since Cathay is sooooo rich, wouldnt they mind opening an outlet at CP? lol. having a cinema at a crappy mall isnt anything new. West Mall, located at Bukit Batok is one hell of a boring place, but they still do have Eng Wah Theatres up there. how convenient for the people living around the area.
i guess my room is haunted. i have this poster which is directly above my computer, which says "SUCCESS, IT DOES NOT MATTER HOW SLOWLY YOU GO, SO LONG AS YOU DO NOT STOP. REMEMBER.... SUCCESS IS DEPENDANT ON EFFORT" and it has mysteriously dropped about twice today, no matter how much tape i put behind. i'm kinda spooked actually. because, does this mean that i wouldnt be successful in achieving my goals in life? maybe im thinking too much.
the time is now 2238pm. caffeine is cursed to be in my blood all night. and im hungry, i should have asked mom to cook for me just now. and now it's too late. shes asleep. only a container of biscuits is my only ration left. should i whip out my wallet and go downstairs to buy something again... Cheers is getting worst. that outlet doesnt seem to be restocking their snacks and chips.. wtf is this. i wouldnt be surprised to go down one day and see empty shelves everywhere.
and gay, i dont feel like being another statue at home tomorrow. i'll find something to do. guess im going to town to shop. maybe between late morning and early afternoon where the streets of town are quieter and it's a joy to shop at this hour. if only i could wake up. i think i can. days are passing by. and sooner or later, the funfair is bound to close. and i wouldnt wanna miss the final dying oppurtunity to take the ride again. urgh.
i've been enduring this curse for more than 3 years now.
you are the solution to this.
you can be the one who breaks me free.
if only.. i just had the courage to....
every passing day, "it" grows stronger and stronger. and the more i feel that the oppurtunity is drifting away from me. be my...
Purple Rose; 8:04 AM
Sunday, May 21, 2006
im writing this entry now, while eating a bowl of instant noodles at the same time. today, i'm proud of myself. i feel like a good chef since the instant noodles i cooked earlier tastes great. the last time i cooked, i poured too much water without realising it. then when i poured in the seasonings, i wondered why the soup was so lightly colored? then when i tasted it, crap! tastes like water -_- and now im enjoying a snack of cheezels. yum. it's 1:28am now. im energetic again. maybe i shouldnt sleep a full night again.
watched Singapore Idol auditions just now. i laughed the fucking loudest in the house. i think the whole of 14th floor can hear me. so many faggots. but most of them were entertaining la. im just annoyed why they even wasted their time queuing up for auditions when they already know well that they cant goddamn sing. for sure, i know some went for the auditions just to have a chance to appear on national tv, and do something annoying to get "recognised". faithful William Hung followers. at least it was worth a watch la. it made me laugh like hell. laughter is the best medicine.
went out to eat lunch with muneh this afternoon. met at cp. i was early. then went to delifrance to eat as he suggested. that place is gay. i feel that the food there officially sucks. the last breakfast i ate there was a nightmare. really BAD service. they take 90 years to prepare one simple dish. today's lunch was no better. i ordered some pizza, together with an appetiser and an iced peach tea. i could say the drink was the best, the others were crap. the appetiser disappointed me the most. all i got was a plate of mashed up flowers, leaves and 2 pieces of small fish. and that costs about $6? wtf is this. i think i know why this place is overpriced. because delifrance is french. and french stuff are expensive. because france is in europe, and most stuff from europe are expensive. damn the french. muneh ordered some bolognaise crap. never asked for his comment on the food. forgot. by about 6 we went our separate ways already. and at the interchange, i heard screams... i thought people got murdered. then i looked to where to screams were coming from. it came from outside, at the funfair -_- it WAS open afterall. pirate ship is opened! i wanna ride! and yeah, one more time for crazy surf! but $5 for a ride is still insane. heck, maybe just one last time wouldnt kill. but im alone. i feel reluctant to do so. some other time then, if i could get people to go out with me that is.
reached home about 1830. the night market below my place is still open. thats really long. more than a week already. record breaking. and i bought something to drink. as usual. i dont wanna dehydrate myself. i love peach tea. even though drinking it makes me piss uncontrollably. got home and basically did nothing all the way until now. so i decided to blog after staring at the wall for 7 hours or so. and to salina, if ur really so pisssssed with me for disturbing the crap outta u, then sorry, i'll stop.
oh shit. i just dropped a cheezel in my room. fuck. for the past 4 days there hasnt been any appearance of the common room pest, the ant. and i guess i destroyed the record. they are coming back. my room is never free of ants for more than a week. they'll surely come back and i dont know wtf they are coming back for. there are no food crumbs or whatever in my room what. stupid creatures.
tomorrow. if lady luck is on my side. i could get what i want. so im wishing hard now. that my mom would be in a good mood. if she has pms, then mount faber would erupt lava. so many nice movies coming out soon. i will watch all of them no matter what. im a passionate movie-goer. if i cant get anyone to watch me, nothing shall stop me and i'll watch alone. the passion is there. i know that most guys would always die trying to woo a girl to watch a movie with, so that they could have something to boast about to their friends. im glad to be totally not like that.
somehow. i miss swimming like hell already. it has been a looooooong time since i last had a dip in the cool chlorine waters of a water theme park. and going down those insanely thrilling slides. all so damn fun la. but sadly, i'll need to sacrifice some things before going to pool. my perfect vision, and my clothes. excluding trunks la. and i feel that wild wild wet is little overpriced. there is one more swimming place, which is almost like Wild Wild Wet itself but only older and lacks a little more rides and it costs like $1 to $3 for entrance fee. just calculate the difference in price between these two places. and i miss thrill rides too. escape theme park. even though the entrance fee is like shit. Wet&Wild, pepsi revolution, Vikings, gay train ride, GO KART, ALPHA 8, CADBURY aka headache machine. i miss all of them la.
i wished it was. how i planned.
whether it would work out.
i should have wished that we'd be happy now.
if only. it were true.
those sleepless nights become bitter oblivion. these thoughts run through my head over and over again.
Purple Rose; 10:05 AM
Saturday, May 20, 2006
what a refreshing sleep i had. that was the best feeling one i ever had in a few years. after one full night of being awake, after an early evening shower, i immediately died on my bed. i think thats because i had been awake for a full 24 hours without any sleep, or even more, or maybe, it could be because of another reason.
well, now to blog on some stuff that happened the day before. the night that i stood awoke. was playing guitar till about 4 plus. realised i wasnt getting tired at all. then went to shower, after that my eyes were still wide open. completely no hint of sleepyness. looked at the clock, close to six. i lied on my bed. covered in blankets, switched off the lights. closed my eyes. nothing happened, they opened back later. i tried switching positions but to no avail. left, right, middle, all useless. it's just my mind la. then i gave up and got out of bed. i brushed the curtains aside and looked into the dawn sky. i stood there admiring the skies for sometime. it was actually kinda nice. dark blue.. with a little hint of golden sunshine at some parts. looked at the time, it was close to 7.
i switched on the computer. and basically did nothing... all the way.. till at least some humans came online and finally i've got some people to talk to. class is due to start at 1320. and im still late for classes -_- i arrived at 1330. actually, if the more i took my time to walk while switching trains from dhoby ghaut NEL to the North South line, i would be much later.
there was this new student in class. some 14 year old girl and her japanese was kinda good, seems like the younger students would grasp this subject well and faster. the other students excluding me were in about their late 20s, and one in his early 30s. lol. first hour of class, i was alert and my usual self. then came halfway into the 2nd hour of the lesson, i started feeling drowsy. my head was like a magnet to the table. i had to stop myself from lying my head on the table so i had to use my hands. and the new stuff she was thinking seemed to be not sinking into my head and i was really blur. came the third and final hour of class. im literally dead. sometimes while the teacher is writing on the board, i would take these few precious seconds to rest a little, putting my head down on the table. then teacher finally caught me and asked me to wake up. and she asked , "kai-san, kinou no ban nan ji ni nemashitaka?" which translates to, "what did did u sleep last night."
i said i didnt sleep entirely. and everyone was kinda shocked. haha. after class, this kind classmate of mine offered me chocolates, i guess they could help to stay awake a while more, while im rushing off to home. my stomach is growling as i didnt eat anything for the whole day, so to kill off that unpleasant feeling i had to buy some quick take away food, at level one of far east plaza. some quick snack of chicken bits dipped into cheese. it was nice la. after eating that, im back in the mrt, heading home already. i was so tired while walking, i wished i could just sleep on the floor. but nah, i dont want to be in the headlines of tmr's news.
the final MRT back. every fucking body was a kiasu singaporean. the door opened, and ALL i really EVERYONE rushed to sit. so typical singaporean behaviour. i really need a seat. i just had to stand all the way, not until kovan station, there was a corner seat for me. at last. slept a little till i reached sk mrt. the queue to the 159 bustop was as long as people queuing up for 4D. i slumped against the wall. later i looked at the funfair as the bus passed the area, so sad. the place is closing already. no more crazy surf rides : ( that was quick. i couldnt wait to get home.
slept early evening... all the way until 1330 TODAY. i calculated. more than 12 hours hahah. guess i'll be staying in today. resting. till i find a reason to go out and do something. find a job? i dont know. i need one badly. speaking of something to do. yes, finally, im eating out with muneh. hope that hoe doesnt procrastinate or do anything else stupid.
anyway now, to finally blog about something else. 2 days ago, i was reading the paper. stumbled upon this interesting article. of teens having sex with minors, becoming a hot topic. an example was given, a 17 year old boy having sex with his 14 year old girlfriend. and hes been recently charged for that. omg. even though the girl might be willing to do it, but in the eyes of the law, it is seen as statutory rape. i have somemore stuff to blog on about but i have to end off here first as im kinda in a rush to do something else.
im dying here in front of you. ur wounds arent as serious as mine but would you leave me here to die, or die here with me?
if only.
Purple Rose; 11:41 PM
Friday, May 19, 2006
argh. i didnt sleep totally for a full night. now's 0836 in the morning. my insomnia is at it's worst. i lie on the bed. shut my eyes. tried to force myself through the imaginary gates to wonderland. nothing happened. i woke up later, and rolled around the bed in discomfort. i wonder whether it's my mind thats been thinking of too many things, or just that my bed isnt comfortable enough. sigh. im the only human awake at home now. my mom is fast asleep. what can i do now... guitar? no, my mom would go insane. i still have way long to go.... another approximately 3 hours. should i force myself back to the bed or... just sit here and stare into blank space.
sleep is essential. by why am i just unable to get myself to do it? i dont wanna fall asleep halfway while walking around in town later.
maybe it's really just my mind thats being overactive.
Purple Rose; 5:33 PM
im tired. been a long day. i woke up at 4pm. and shit, i am supposed to go to town earlier to buy some movie tickets beforehand. then i did all and left house at about 545pm, and great, just when i reached the bus stop, the bus left. gay driver. i was very lucky this time.. the next bus arrived in the next 30 seconds.
reached town at 1740. the queue for tix was alright, but it was still slow nevertheless, because only 2 out of 5 counters were opened. then when it came to my turn, i asked for 2 tix for Da Vinci Code. then the woman was hesitant about letting me purchase wth -_- she was like, "ARE YOU 16?" then i was like, "im 18 la." but she didnt asked for my identification card. bought 2 tix at the lowest row as the other seats were completely taken up. astronaut seat again. dont tell me i look younger than 16. met my friend and i looked at my cell's clock, only 1750. wtf so early, movie starts at 2030. then walked over to far east, watched my friend eat at LJS, i was abstraining myself from eating fast food la. i didnt break my promise : )
then after he ate, it was still fucking early, so i wanted to search for a new shirt to buy. scouted for the shirt from far east all the way till heeren. no luck : ( all the shirts are insanely baggy. even my friend agrees that shops here in sg suck for guys. everywhere i turn, GIRL STUFF. skimpy tops, mini skirts, lingerie, cutesy shops. bleh. my only hope left was TOPMAN. i went over there about 45minutes before the movie. there was this yellow shirt which i liked... sadly it doesnt come in XS. only one S size remains.. but it looks a bit big la. pricetag of $36. seems fine. i saw one pink shirt with only small design at the front, and the pricetag showed $49. wtf man?! i dont understand why.
then went back to LIDO for movie. hahah then i bought a fuckload of snacks. one giant popcorn, 2 medium pepsi, and one hotdog. $12.80 altogether. the popcorn is really damn huge. the 2 of us are so small built, i dont think we could ever finish it. went up. people are going in already. it reached our turn, the usher was being a loser, he refused to let us in unless we show our ICs. both our hands are full, so my friend just had to put down the giant popcorn on the floor and fished out for his IC. then the usher requested for mine, then i just said "IM 18 LA." then he just let me through.
the movie was nice. heard it was banned in several countries as this movie is religiously offensive. it's all fiction anyway. why get so hard up over it. unless, they're trying to cover up.. some secrets... in the religion. some parts i kinda dont get it, i catch no ball la, i didnt even read the novel, so i might consider watching it a second time just to get a clearer picture.
movie ended at about 2309. took the mrt back, and realised my last bus had already departed. shit. so i had no choice but to take a cab. from CP to my place was kinda near anyway, and plus midnight charge, the bill was no more than $5. at least i enjoyed myself today. tomorrow, my hunt for a new shirt still continues. oh, i didnt realise that tomorrow is already a Saturday. that was quick. and i havent completed my japanese homework yet, it was overdue a week and i still have yet to complete it -_- gona finish it later as i know im an insomniac and i wont be able to sleep till early dawn.
i just remembered some old stuff. this coming july. my ex school is having its annual Racial Harmony cum Carnival day. wondering whether i should go. some sweet memories remain la... like i've been playing in gigs there for about the past 3 years or so while i was still in school. it was damn fun although the equipment there kinda sucked. my first performance back in sec3 was way back during the pop punk era, where jumping with guitars was "cool" now i think back, jumping with guitars looks gay. but that was so long back la, now im an old man already. hahah, and i also remembered, during that day, all the classes were busy setting up their own stalls as our goal for that day was to raise funds for charity. it was the best day ever in the whole year at school obviously. some classes had games cum food stalls. books were thrown aside for that entire day. classrooms turned into a video gaming frenzy. i remembered, the last 3 years, i had nothing left to buy since i was performing earlier and after that, most of the food would have been sold out. so im left with an empty stomach, but a satisfying feeling up there, as i had lots of fun entertaining people. so maybe this july i would come round, on tat day, to relive some sweet nostalgic moments.
can i be the one who would make you feel on top of the world?
let's sit on a hot air balloon together, and go sky high.
and we'll enjoy the breathtaking view of the world below, away from everything else.
just the two of us. run my fingers through your hair playfully, you set me free. you incinerate my depressive thoughts.
if only.
Purple Rose; 10:27 AM
Thursday, May 18, 2006
i cant believe im actually blogging now. it's 615 am now, may 19th on a friday morning. i just forgot to blog earlier just now so im doing it now. since i've got really bad insomnia, im still full of energy to blog at this hour. but im planning to cut it short and quick and talk about less stuff since i wanna try to sleep. guess my mom is already awake now. shes wake up hell early to go to work which only starts at 9 -_- the typical kiasu singaporean. firstly, im blogging back on my own computer again! : D it's been only one day that my computer died and its soul went to heaven, but now it is revived again.
anyway, about thursday. i woke up to reply to an sms. which is around 11 plus. then slept back all the way till 4. woke up, looked at my computer. pressed the switch. nothing happened. im sad la. then went over to sister's room to use her crappy junk pc. time passed reaaaallllllyyy slowly while using my sister's com. i dunno why. maybe because each website i went to, the browser would either fail to load or hang -_- then i gave up. and tried to do something else to pass time. i switched on the tv. watched nickelodeon. that was the only most interesting channel worth watching at that time. i browsed through other channels. really boring shit. tv kept me company till about 6. went to shower.
soon, mom was already back from work. as usual she was her naggy self. complaining about every single speck of dust she sees. i set off to CP at 1920. then i walked briskly to the bustop, meeting time is 1940, i have to hurry. this was actually the first time in my life that the bus is actually on time, but the bus is hell packed. reached cp exactly on time. met salina and made a really bad decision to eat at BK. not fastfood again! so i made a promise. today, a friday, i wont eat fastfood. and i try to refrain myself to.. on the other days. then i didnt finish my burger -_- it's too damn big la. then i wanted to have some dessert. hershey's sundae chocolate pie. yum. then i was still halfway throughout my meal, so i asked salina to get into the queue and buy for me. then she refused. fat pig. and would only do so if i treated her a pie too. -_- i looked at the queue.. so long la. so i reluctantly did it. she got her pie for free.
waited for 1763 years. then caroline finally came. it was already 9 pm. shitty time, we cannot afford to waste anymore time so we proceeded down to the mini funfair near the mall. majority of the rides are for kids. and the prices for those rides for adults cost $5 EACH. $5?! rip-offs. explored the area a little. there were other game stalls featuring stupid games. $3 per try. wtf, the prizes are really damn stupid also. salina was being dumb again and almost wanted to try her luck as she likes those soft toys. soft toys. contain dust, and other minute specimens on it, therefore, keeping it for long would result in having asthma. haha. then we had some time to think. one ride, looks promising, but $5... is obviously not worth. time is ticking... and the 2 of them have school tomorrow, so heck, we went for it. i subsidised $3 for salina, and paid full for caroline. see what a kind guy i am. this ride was called "crazy surf". it was basically some platform that raises us up and turn us in circles, going ass quick speeds and turning in clockwise directions and vice versa.
before we went for the ride, we actually stood there to view other people taking the ride. the ride seemed too short. the only thing i hated most about that ride is the booming techno music. the thumping bass makes my heart feel like bursting out of my chest. our turn came. it may seem like a simple ride, but i like the feeling when i'm lifted up high into the air and while going down, experience this sensation known as "butterflies in the stomach". it was great la. i was practically sliding off my seat. and the ride was pretty long actually. maybe i would wanna go for a second try, and also the other ride too which isnt opened yet.. the Viking Ride. cant wait for next outing la. then went back after that. they have school, they cant afford to stay out late.
now the skies are turning brighter outside. i can imagine some people i know now, they should be on their way to school. getting exam papers back. and im sitting here, getting ready to turn in soon. today, i have plans. so i wont go dead bored rotting at home. watching Da Vinci Code in town later this late afternoon with a fellow bandmate. i just hope there's no last minute cancellations la. i just hate that most. when im all ready set to go out, or worst, already left the place, then the dimwit cancels the meeting suddenly. i'll get really, really pissed. keke.... just wait and seee...... for that person. i will get my revenge. alright la, the sky is getting a little too bright and i dont think my eyes could take it. im sick of this vampire lifestyle.. i just wanna be human again. sleep at normal times. i could only wish. good "morning".
the boat is sinking. utter chaos breaks loose. the ship is tilting sideways. you fall down. im here. just looking at you. give me your hand.
though i think you may not like me at all, i'll always be here to help pick you up from the ground, and in times of need.
Purple Rose; 3:17 PM
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
hi. im back. im XXXtremely bored la.theres nothing i can do to pass time! so i decided to post this bo liao entry. im still not used to typing on this rotten computer. and everything la. my heart is with my other computer, which is still dead. i tried to switch it on yet again just now. still spoilt la. its doomed.now... im about 40 minutes away from the soccer match! still a wayyyy long time to go la. her room. has a queen sized bed. but too big isnt good la. im too used to sleeping in my tiny bed. and bed is horrendous, not only is it extremely small, there was one incident way long back, when i had friends over, they all jumped on by bed, and the metal grill below the mattress gave way under the tremendous amount of weight. my bed "broke". somehow they all got to fix it back i still wonder how they did it. i jumped and rolled across my own bed to test for stability. and yes, it was stable. no more bed breaking nights. i think thats because im lightweight la thats why.
i played guitar for a while just now despite my painful finger. it wasnt that pain at first but after some time, now its hurting again like hell. ouch. then i got hungry and went downstairs to buy a giant bag tortillas and another bag of salsa chips. but when i got down, there was this cute cat sleeping among the crap people dump at the void deck. it went to me and started brushing its fur against my legs and rolling around playfully. see how much cats love me : D then sorry la, i just had to go buy my food. when i returned it was still there. it let out a soft purr, i knew its hungry la. but i only have tortillas and chips, and cats would die if they consume them.
then i went up taking the lift duh -_- but this lift i've something to comment about. the lift's interior fucking stinks like HELL. the cleaners are not doing their jobs -_- the stench was really choking, i bet if the cat followed me into the lift it would die by the time the lift reaches my floor. i live on the second highest floor btw. i had really no choice but to breathe through my mouth, thats the only way to prevent smelling that horrid stench.
the stench smells like unflushed toilet bowls full of shit + piss + vomit + everything else that stinks. horrible la. cant really blame the cleaners either. they dont clean the lifts everyday wat. it's the people that created this stench. i know of some little boys who enjoy pissing in lifts as a favourite past time.
i realise the kopitiam always has people drinking or eating outside 24/7. no matter how fucking late, there'll always be people. not being racist but, i see mostly hardcore beer junkies are indians. they sit around outside with about 29 beer bottles on the table. beer tastes bad. i like drinks with some alcohol inside, just not too much. preferably sweet tasting ones.
outside the cheers outlet at hougang point, there are always bound to have at least some people loitering around. mostly uncivilised bengs, but just now i group of slackers sitting down on the concrete floor talking cock, seems like they're having a midnight picnic. actually i like picnics a lot. thinking of it... maybe i would like to host a picnic session in june. haha. when i think of picnics, i think of food. when i think food, i think of sandwiches, when i think of sandwiches i think of meat and when i think of meat, i get hungry, and when i get hungry, now also i feel hungry myself and when im hungry now, i think of eating now, and when i think of eating now, i think i should end the post here. goodnite!
Purple Rose; 10:49 AM
i woke up at 1pm today. slept the night before at about 5. nothing new. only 3 hours earlier this time. i just didnt complete my music homework la. feel so disappointed with myself. i rolled around the bed for some time, just thinking of certain stuff. then got out of bed. switched on my pc. everyone was kinda offline. then i just went to shower. showered extra long this time as the water was feeling sexier then stepped out of the bathroom and realised it was already 215pm wtf?!
got ready and tried to style my hair in 5 minutes. the wax is really beginning to suck. styling power 5 stars? ya right. more like 1 star. left home at 1425. the bus was freaking late la. i waited impatiently. finally 72 arrived and reached mrt station at 1440. omg how am i gonna reach class in time. and as usual again, was late for class. 15 minutes. and teacher was kinda annoyed. she went like, "what time does class start? what time is it now?"
finished class and went straight to rp to meet carot. i reached there directly on time again. see how punctual i am. but she wasnt there yet. i had to find ways to pass time so i just walked aimlessly around there for about 1/2 an hour before they arrive. ate fastfood again. all my fault. so unhealthy.
waited for the whore to arrive as he promised, 6pm. 6pm passed already like half an hour back. still no sign of him. waited a little while more, then he finally appeared. asshole. nvm, swensens treat added on already after cartel next week. there was some commontion going on outside as there were policemen confronting some beng and a KFC staff. another childish brawl la. cant these people grow up? fight fight fight. im totally against these lame and childish ways of settling a problem. the mature way is just to talk it out, like a man. anyway majority of the causes of these brawls are often over stupid reasons la. like for eg, "he stared at me" or "he push me never say sorry"
well, the world is bound to have losers like this la. since the world isnt perfect. dusk broke out. and the day was soon to called for. by then, we all went our separate ways already -_- pretty boring. if only we had something better to do. like, before i took my bus when i went back, i saw the carnival beside CP. there were people around there and some even sitting on the rides. so i assume that it has officially opened. after so damn long.
got back home and got really pissed. my computer died on me. really, this time. i tried to switch it on... nothing happened. i removed the plug and let it rest for a few minutes and tried again later, still nothing. i guess the internal circuits really overheated this time. and now, as im typing this entry, im using my sister's dreaded computer. i shouldnt be complaining. i think i should be feeling thankful that i actually have a spare backup computer with internet to use, no matter how sucky the specs are.
champions league finals early this thursday morning at 235am. i cant afford to miss that. one of the biggest matches in history. but somehow, im kinda feeling lethargic now.. sleepy... my head is groggy. i have to stop myself from getting sleepy.. some way. im feeling hungry again. fridge is reloaded with cheese crackers. been eating them non stop the previous few nights. they are just too addictive. oh, and tmr's the release of Da Vinci Code. eager to watch... but with who? guess im gonna watch it solo again.
got really nothing to much interesting stuff to blog about. wanted to take a pic of a sleeping old man in the MRT today, but how am i gonna do that without getting seen by the other commuters ? he sleeps with his mouth wide open. i giggled a little. anyway, if i really do take a pic of him, i wont be able to upload it since the program's in my own computer.
now i have a big problem. i have nothing to do from now till 235am. my fingers still hurt, playing guitar would be suicidal, no xbox 360 for me as the fucker is using the tv now. im left with only.... a pencil box and a stack of papers. homework. i guess i have to really discipline myself. Laziness is a contagious. no choice. i have to force myself to do it.. somehow. June's coming and the more i'll feel like a loser. 5 days a week, i would have practically nothing to do at all. just lazing around at home. it's killing me slowly. sighs.
with all these thoughts racing through my mind, i feel insecure sometimes. i guess my insomnia is gonna get far worse now. all because of these thoughts. please.. i couldnt bare to erase some of them away.
if only.
Purple Rose; 6:29 AM
Tuesday, May 16, 2006
today. is sakae sushi outing day. and hell, i only slept at 8am this morning. i broke another record. i thought the latest i slept was 7am. today's far worst la. i kept playing the new game i just downloaded without realising the sky was turning brighter outside. then my mom made noise. so i just had to stop la and i havent even showered -_-
when i was showering, some sunlight had started to pour in already. and upon contact, my eyes start to catch fire. so i had to close that mini "window" in the bathroom. after that, i looked down like an eagle and spotted students hurrying to school. lol. poor things. then my mom gave me her weird pills again to take them before going to bed. they taste really awful.
i woke up. the alarm clock's ringing. it's already 1pm. i checked my cell. no sms yet. so i didnt really feel like sleeping so i went online. browsed through the usual blogs and sites. sms came in later. evening it was. so i thought i might have some time to go town to do some mini shopping and then back to kovan. i called my dumbass friend. he agreed. i waited. and waited. he took bloody long to reach back. and im still in my PJs. so he called and asked whether i was still going. i said yes. i looked at the clock. 330pm. went to shower and back. received a new sms. 420pm. and 2 missed calls. one from dumbass. so there was kinda no time left to go to town la, im not superman. so i sent an sms of apology to dumbass as i had to turn him down. then he called. i know it was not going to be good la. and i had to endure about 2 mins of verbal abuse. sorry la! i thought it was like only 2pm only. but it turned out to be nearly 4pm. which human could shop that quick and be back in kovan by 420pm?!
i spent an awful long time trying to style out something decent in my hair. nothing worked la. my hair is just as stiff as rock. glanced at the clock. 410pm. wtf?! so i decided to cab down there. i dont wanna be late again! the cabby was damn grumpy. i feel like slapping him. he drove daaaaamn slow. i didnt even look at the meter throughout the whole trip. when i reached, it was only $4. so cheap. haha. and ya, this is really weird. after i stepped out of the cab, the time on my cell showed exactly 420pm. im on right on time. but she wasnt there yet -_-
so went to explore the upper floors and read mags at popular for sometime before receiving a call. then made my way down to SAkae Sushi. a seat for 2. chose buffet and i paid adult pricing -_- im still a student wtf. i cant really stuff a full sushi into my mouth. it just made me feel like puking. i duno why also. the food was alright la. im not really a very big fan of sushi. most of the time i had to take many sips of my drink to prevent myself from throwing up in front of her. i just hate the feeeling la. here's some pics from our lunch experience.
the conveyor belt. when we just settled down.
here's when we're halfway through. look at the red plate! we were not supposed to take it as it was not included in the buffet we paid for. but im blur so i didnt know. actually we took 2 of it but we put it back quickly, swiftly, sneakily like a ninja. the other one.... i've already eaten one.. so it would be damn bad to put it back on the belt. fuck it. so we just eat it la. btw. one red plate costs almost close to $6.
alright. final pic coming up. the aftermath of our sushi lunch buffet. a stack of colorful plates. looks artistic haha.
i ordered 2 drinks. Sakae at Kovan sucks big time. so much shit missing from their menus. well actually not, just that they have it on their menu but it's temporarily unavailable. im pissed. wanted orange juice with nata de coco. dun have. wanted lemonade. got. yay. finally. and most of their dessert on their menu is missing. i want strawberry smileys! so we just had a really really small tub of icecream for our dessert. mine's strawberry, hers blueberry. and ya, commenting on our ice cream. it was as hard as a diamond. needed to wait for some time for it to get soft so we could dig in. it was nothing special too. ya one last thing in my sakae dining experience. when we were halfway through, there was this old man with plastic bags in his hands containing many empty cans. he happened to stop beside our table as we had 2 cans on it. then before he could do anything, the manager chased him out. i really pity the poor old guy. i wished we at least could give our cans to him before he got chased out. then at least that wouldnt be that bad. i kinda dislike the manager. he kept looking at us with his sly eyes. he thinks what?!just because we're young, u gave us that "can these kids pay for what they're eating?" look. burn in hell you hoe.
when we're about to leave, he confronted us. saying that we must finish wat we had left on the plate or else i'm gonna pay for wastages. argh damn. i just cant down anymore shit. so we just ignored. poor sushi. then my bladder is about to explode so i gave her a crisp $50 note and asked her to pay for me while im blasting off to the loo at the speed of light. im pretty confident that our meal wouldnt go over $50. i was wrong. when i came back. she showed me the bill. $53. omg. thats so fucking ex. no way im going back there. anyway it feels much more like fear factor than having a pleasant dining experience. since i felt like puking almost all the time.
left the dreaded outlet and upstairs in search for a shirt to buy. all the shops suck. either ugly shirts or ugly size. and it's so damn bias. one section of a certain floor had shops which cater to mostly girls. sexist. then bought peach green tea before leaving the mall. and it tasted like shit. so i throw it away after a few sips. i know im wasting la, but the taste is really beyond description.
well that was it for the whole day. i got in the same lift as mom while back home. and now i've pretty slacked all the way online till now. i have to let my right fingers rest. they still hurt like hell as im typing this entry. no guitar till tomorrow. oops. i have music class tomorrow. and i have yet to do my homework. guess i gotta do it asap. oh and i forgot. it's gona be june real soon and the june holidays are kicking in. and to carrot, stop worrying too much about ur results la.. you'll do fine.
you brighten up my day. make me feel like im in heaven. it seems like your an angel sent from heaven.
if only....you.were....
Purple Rose; 8:35 AM
Monday, May 15, 2006
urgh. im blogging at this inhuman hour. now's 420am. i just had to find something to do to pass time since i was bored earlier. i turned to video gaming. and when im playing games, time flies like nothing. earlier on today, i was woken up by an sms from Human S. apparently she didnt go to school again. "sick". then somehow i met her later for lunch+dinner. i was really hungry anyway. dining experience with her was a nightmare. went to pizza hut. it was almost completely empty. except for a small family at the other end. got to our seat and ordered. drinks came first. human S was just really glad to have her revenge today. poured that chilli thing and cheese powder into my drink directly in front of me. i just had to bear with the awful taste of the drink. at the end of it, i paid for almost everything -_-
no more pizza hut for now. it makes my wallet bleed. im just gona stick to cheap cheap food. went home immediately after that. what a day -_-
before i move on to other boring stuff, let me introduce this new fashion trend. sleek and cool it is. here's a picture to prove.
having a can on the bag is the IN thing. and it is actually spreading quickly among youngsters. but to me i dont follow trends and i find it stupid. pity trendwhores.
anyway back to what i was talking about. i got home. and played guitar from 7 till about 12. 5hours of pure guitar. my right middle finger now hurts like hell. anyway i just have to bear with the pain, after sometime, the pain'll go away and my finger would get better. this week would have 2 really interesting stuff to watch. firstly, champions league finals in Paris. soccer! secondly would be the release of Da Vinci code. and shit, i just remembered i havent done my music homework at all. fuck. talkng about that, i just got the NS deferment letter from Lasalle today. so glad to see it. i have deferment till june 2009. cant wait for school to start, this is actually the first time i'm actually eager to go to school. im doing something that i have complete interest in.
actually today i was supposed to go town with some dumbass friend. but he just didnt call, and now i kinda dislike him a little. i paid for his meal at Jack's Place last time and he didnt show much appreciation and now i asked him to tag along with me to do some shopping. and he gave a really lame reason. "my ez link no money. you pay la" at first i agreed. how stupid. but not yet, i change my mind now. somehow, i realised he's making use of me. over my dead body this time. i dont mind shopping alone this time. i just wanna get the shirt i want and just straight back home.
a few minutes ago, i went to the living room to check the status of a certain demo i was downloading on my xbox, then i heard some disturbing noises. some bumping noises in the kitchen. and it's at 5am?! which human... or inhuman. last time i read this story of this woman who sang some songs while hanging out clothes at night, and she didnt realise the title of the song shes singing is actually cursed. and later there was this woman in white actually sitting sitting on her bamboo pole. wtf. it gives me the creeps now. and i havent showered yet -_- now those noises have died out. well, i wont let my imagination run wild. sometimes you think too much you end up seeing things. just ur mind playing tricks on you.
time flies. now im still thinking it's still sunday -_- when it's already a tuesday morning. and best thing is, someone is actually finishing her exams today. good luck to you. remember not to feel too tense while doing the paper yea. hope the presence of ur clique and friends around you motivate you to do well. you're almost there... completing the final lap of the race already. dont stop. when it's all over. you could finally let your hair down, and relax a little, and not let other stuff bother you, for eg, ur results. just dont think about it! : )
dont forget. Sakae Sushi. i'm pretty much looking forward to it. one bad thing now. im supposed to be asleep now. but i have pretty much confidence that i'll wake up la. ouch my fingers still hurt as im typing now. i got pretty sick of thin hair now. my hair is still thin, but thin hair has its advantages, like easy to stand up, and style without requiring much force but sometimes, too thin makes someone look as if he or she is balding. my hair is still thin but it has gotten quite out of shape. im ignoring it la, i hope the wax could do something about it. i just want thicker hair.
oh. forgot to mention this earlier. remember the time i blogged about the mystery of ringing doorbell in the dead of the night? yesterday morning, i kinda got the mystery solved already. so relieved. theres nothing unclean la. im thinking too much haha. well, last morning, it was about 645am, i bet many people would have already gotten into their school U and either having breakfast or leaving home for school. and i just got myself into my sleeping attire and still using the computer. mom already woke up. she didnt nag as much. then suddenly i heard the doorbell ring. i got out of my room and went immediately to the front door to peep through the tiny hole. nobody. then i told mom about it.
"whats with that doorbell ringing every morning with nobody outside?"
"you just go and sleep la, theres nothing about it"
i was wondering what she meant by that sentence. so i asked her further.
"it's a ghost or what?"
then my mom got a little pissed and said, "it's just some internal circuit problem la, see i show you"
and what i saw immediately made me feel like an idiot to actually feel scared last time and kept thinking it was a "ghost" there was this switch in the kitchen which was seldomly used, everytime my mom presses it, the doorbell would ring. so.... mystery solved. another mystery to solve would be those banging noises. like who the hell would wake up in the dead of the night to make all these noises?
even though i havent experienced anything supernatural before. i still believe in those things and i myself wouldnt wanna see them. fuck. it's gonna be like 6 soon. i really need to shower. i feel like a caveman.
im lying here on my bed. and im thinking.... thinking.. of you. how amazing that my mind could filter out everything else and it just leaves only you in my mind.
visions of you. i hope they stay forever.
Purple Rose; 1:20 PM
Sunday, May 14, 2006
just a mini update. i'm sitting in the comfort of my "boss" chair in front of my pc. i just went downstairs and bought $3.85 worth of goodies to keep me company throughout this night. i went downstairs in a patriotic shirt and pants without underwear -_- fuck. and my pants were so fucking loose they kept slipping off. i had to walk with one hand holding onto my pants. the reason why i didnt wear underwear is because i already took off all my clothes earlier as i was preparing to shower but suddenly felt like going downstairs first thats why. there was this freaky looking cat downstairs my block. it started walking towards me and it kept brushing its fur against my legs. awww.. poor freaky looking thing. sorry i had to just walk away. i have no food on me.
then got back. clad myself only in a towel. and typing this entry now. just to think what i'll do later. i wanna play video games. but that fucker is still watching tv. guess i have to wait a lil more. anyway, was talking to this person online. and this is what this person said. at first i said, its not nice to always have brainless guys treating girls. then she said,
"guys have to be like that ma."
now i totally understood what carrot meant. you are materialistic. having those hordes of brainless guys at ur will. hope they will soon realise how stupid they've become.
and shit, i havent bathed for this whole freaking daY! i stink. alright. end of post.
Purple Rose; 8:52 AM
today. i woke up at 530pm. really cant believe i could sleep that long? thats almost 12 hours of sleep alright. i went to bed around 510am the morning before. i wont be updating that much today either. well something interesting happened while i just got myself cosy on the bed. my mom just told me about this afternoon. then... i was trying to open the door to wonderland when it was rudely interrupted by some bumping noises directly outside my door. it kept going on and on, but i wasnt scared la, might the neighours upstairs or something, so i just ignored it and tried to sleep. then later the bumpings continued, got a little louder.. and stopped abruptly. directly after that, my doorbell rang. it was fucking 530am. i had half the heart to wake up to see who's bothering me at this inhuman hour. but i chose to enter wonderland. this is the part mom told me. although nothing big, but it's a little creepy. when i went to sleep directly after that doorbell ring, my mom had already woken up and she went to peep through the doorhole.
nobody was outside. puzzled, my mom convinced herself that it might be just my grandmother who lives just next door. so several hours later, she went to ask my grandma, and she just shook her head and said that she was sleeping at that time. then who did it??? luckily my mom did the right thing not to open the door to check whether there's anyone outside. phew. anyway "it" rang the doorbell only once. so from a skeptic's point of view, it could be that switch outside might have some circuit problems so it was triggered once. but i'm not a skeptic anyway, so i think something unclean might be outside. whatever motive that "thing" has, you're ringing the doorbell of the wrong house, go find someone else to bother.
lol. i remembered once, it was at a zombie hour, around 4am, i was still playing video games. then i heard some bitching noise outside my door. some asshole rang the doorbell and banging the gates. so i reluctantly peeped at the doorhole. saw a silhoutte of a man at the bottom of the door. i was petrified la. thinking it might be a real ghost i didnt resume what i was doing earlier and went off straight to bed. then next morning, found out it was just a drunkard who went to the wrong house -_-
anyway, today is the first day in this whole year that i am actually eating my mom's cooking. for this dish she made, it tasted quite nice la. finally for one day, i didnt spend a single cent. and i still havent taken a shower yet -_- for the whole day. will do so later la. btw, was reading the sunday papers just now, and one particular section caught my eye. it was a topic about Friendster. according to this guy, i kinda agree about his views. he said friendster is no longer used for its purpose anymore, and instead, it is all about this race for more friends, more testimonials. to top it off, it is all about popularity la, about how many accounts u can set up and all this shit. and yes, to some people whose accounts holds 500 people, do you actually have that many friends? do you talk to all of them even? to me it is just a meaningless race. there is no prize or whatever. and friendster is indeed corrupted, with many twits and losers. with all those stupid nicks. but i have a friendster account myself and i make up a small percentage of the good people on the network. neither a loser nor a twit. just someone who wanna find some old long lost friends and get linked. and also, friendster can be a place where i can retrieve some background information about a particular person, doing research haha.
urgh. im just rotting at home today la. im dying. im not the type who can really stay home for more than one day. hopefully i can go out tomorrow if i can find company to go do some little shopping. or else... shopping alone again. boring. i actually like the idea of watching movies and shopping on an early weekday morning because the streets are so empty and its so peaceful. unlike a weekend afternoon. i had to be forced to squeeze through crowds.
one final thing before closing today's boring entry. to the whore who owes me a treat this coming week. you postpone this treat again without a good reason i will kill you.
flight to Japan. i'm so glad to have you sitting beside me on this lovely flight. then all hell breaks loose, the plane experiences severe turbulence. we're gonna crash. i look at you. everyone around us are running amok. we know our fate is sealed, all of us are gonna die.
just give me a final kiss. and we'll depart to heaven together.
Purple Rose; 5:35 AM
Saturday, May 13, 2006
i'm soo pleased today. firstly as u all can see, i've got a new blogskin! finally. after damn long. i wanted to change it a few thousand years ago but i just have no idea what everyone is talking about. go blogskins.com ya i know but i have no idea what to do when i'm there. so i just dropped the plan to change my blogskin, not until today. my goood consultant decided to make one for me :D
it took her some time but it was worth every second waiting. it may not be thaaaaat nice to everyone, but im just really glad that i have a new blogskin. seriously, some reasons why i didnt feel like blogging sometimes is because of my ugly background in the past. polka dots. looks funky and stupid. but with my face on my own blog feels a bit irritating. hahah. because most girls would put up pics of themselves in their backgrounds, but im a guy eh. feeling a little hint of sissy-ness. heck.
on to blog about what happened today. alarm clock started pissing me off at 1115am. i immediately woke up to switch it off. then went to sleep back, standard. then later my mom woke me up, it was close to 12pm already. fuck, i rushed to take a refreshing bath, and my left eye hurts like hell. it was still hurting like hell when i was bathing and later i found out my left eye was all red. not really that sore la, but the pain's gone already anyway. the weather seemed to be very chilly as it was raining and i was shivering inside. so i decided to wear 2 shirts on. pretty good decision made. the whole day was cooling. wish everyday singapore's weather could be like this. i left my house close to 15 mins later than usual, and lady luck wasnt on my side. i reached the bustop, 72 just went off. fuck la. i prayed the next bus behind would be another 72, but its a 325 instead. afraid i'll be late, i just took it. i havent taken 325 for years. well, the bus ride was wayyyyyy longer than 72. almost a redlight every 20 seconds.
fast forward. i reached class 10 minutes late. it was my fault la for sleeping so late. an old classmate came back. he was damn funny la. made a lot of mistakes, but it's good la, humour adds spice to the lessons, making it less boring. then i suddenly dozed off halfway in class. my eyes were really heavy. guess it's the lack of sleep. went to wash my face during break, it felt a little better. then soon my head was resting on the table. damn embarassing la, i kept yawning, but im not rude to yawn just like that, i covered my mouth. basic form of courtesy. then class ended i rushed down to scout the streets of orchard for mothers' day gifts. actually, more of wasting my time in town. i walked up and down, dont see much shops featuring anything special for mothers' day. so got pissed and just went back to cp instead. and what an achievement, i spent only $3 on my lunch+dinner. just a decent plate of chicken rice at Banquet. didnt buy any drinks at all. just went to the toilet to drink tap water, its free what.
this time at CP, at least i saw 2 shops featuring mothers' day gifts. first was Prima Deli, secondly, Famous Amos. so i settled for famous amos. bought 2 heart shaped tins. fucking $27. woops, i shouldnt be cursing. this gift really came from my heart. i love my mom! happy mothers' day in advance to her. i also bought one for my grandmother. shes not forgotten la, at least she can be nice sometimes.
so.. total expenditure for today would be $27 + $3 + $5 = $35 pardon the $27, it didnt cause me any heartaches losing that amount, because i wanted to please my mom what. i presented it to her just now she was very happy la. i feel good myself. its not just a heart shaped tin btw, a giant heart shaped cookie inside, with words on it conveying a mothers' day message. the tin is just so nice la. i would try to take a pic of it and post it up here sometime. thats if i dont forget la.
anyway today there was some xbox 360 advocate launch party or whatever the name is. i wana go for it as i would wana try the new games there on the demo booths but i just cant go la. got my japanese lessons. anyway, there is an age limit to go for that party and u must send and sms first and be invited by them first. heard that the place is crawling with bikini models, not really interested anyway since im the type that hates taking photos.
so thats it, nothing much happened today, except the best part for today is my new blogskin! and ya, i also cant wait for this upcoming week, my cartel treat! and Sakae sushi. i've been eating like a king these past few months. firstly it's unhealthy, secondly it's burning a giant hole in my wallet, but heck, at least i enjoyed it and satisfied my cravings too. alright theres nothing much to blog about already. nites.
we're swimming at a crystal clear beach. the waters are so heavenly, the fish are swimming so gracefully. if the worst happens, never let go of my hand. i'll drown with you.
my mermaid...
Purple Rose; 8:23 AM
Friday, May 12, 2006
well. i just had to update la. it's freaking 523am now. and no, it's not that i dont wanna sleep, actually im already feeling very sleep since 2am but something is holding me back. it's not insomnia this time, it's my bladder, i just feel damn uncomfortable la. my father and i are still on bad terms with each other, shant talk about that anymore, only makes me more pissed.
2am. went up to the living room to switch on my 360. browsed through several channels to see whether anything nice is on. got one. channel AXN. show lasted only about 10 mins -_- then after that it showed Terminator 3. seemed decent so i skipped playing the xbox and watched tv instead. im in great pain down there la, not the first time i've experienced this, but for other times, the pain lasted at most about an hour, but for today's case, was special. it still hurts now as im typing this entry. hopefully, it'll be gone when i wake up later to go to town for my usual shit on saturdays.
basically today, the whole day was kinda slack, i did nothing. woke up really late and just played the guitar till about 6. then took a long refreshing bath and went downstairs the mini pasar malam to get myself some food. my first meal of the day. i've been leading this unhealthy lifestyle for months already. fuck it. everyday fastfood. i have to try to stay away for fast food for at least the next 3 days and find an alternative source of food. and healthier too. when i mean "healthier" i dont mean the food to be pure vegetables, just not deep fried, not too oily will do. Banquet at CP seems like a reasonable choice. maybe i'll eat there tomorrow. oh shit. i havent completed my japanese homework yet. i just got really lazy halfway through while doing. try my best to wake up early later and try complete the last few remaining blanks. mom was doing some spring cleaning in my room today. i didnt know my drawers were so full of junk. all the old secondary school books, and stacks of magazines. even spotted a few with boybands on the covers wtf. i cant imagine i actually bought those.
saw some stuff that brought sweet nostalgia back. some very very old birthday gifts from my best friend then. it was an innovative gift la, it was self made. it was a rock, painted with words. a unique gift. though old, i still keep it for memories. even though now we were drifted apart, we're no longer seeing each other since we're in different schools but i still remember all those times we all laughed and had so much fun in the early years in montfort secondary. i regret something now la. i should have religiously bought every school magazine in all my years in school. i like the feeling of going back into a virtual time portal when i have the free time to sit down and flip through those 0ld magazines. so sad. the only school magazine i bought was last year's, my graduating year.
somehow, i kinda miss my secondary school life now. im feeling totally different now. last year, on the last day of the O level exams, everyone was ecstatic, some even vowed never to return to this hell hole ever again after results day. we hated school like crazy and we were just too occupied on my minds on what we're gona do on this hyper long holiday. now the feelings are totally opposite. i wanna go back to experience all the fun we had in the old days. insulting teachers, especially the sissy science teacher who used sweets to bribe us to concentrate during his lessons, cracking stupid jokes in class, getting scolded as a group, being punished together. argh, i just miss those really fun days la.
on to where i was blogging about just now. oh ya, what i was doing today. night fell pretty quickly and caroline found this interesting bulletein on friendster. i know 97% of friendster's bulleteins are dogshit but this is one is exeptional, even though it's kinda dumb but it's fun. some slogan name generator. kept fiddling around with site and we made a list of funny slogans lol. pretty killed time fast and soon she went to sleep already -_- hell fast. i received about 7 MMSes from u, but i dont seem to be receiving any pictures yet, all text messages only -_- Patience is virtue. so i'll just wait.
now we're exactly 2 weeks and 4 days away from June. seems to be damn long la. the more we think of june, the further it'll drift away, so it's best not to think of it and let it come naturally. hmmmm, sakae sushi or pastamania or some other slightly higher class restaurants? still deciding lol. dont worry carrot, the 50 bucks is locked up in a safe and only i could reach it, i just had to hide it so my itching fingers wont take it and splurge on junk again. later it'll be my last chance to get mom a mothers' day gift. i better make use of all the time i got after classes. i MUST buy mom something nice. i told my mom about it. and she thought i had a sneaky plan up my sleeves. wtf? because she knew that i'm aiming to buy some stuff for so long already. i know i like those stuff but i think i'll let ur wallet rest, they're really expensive stuff. crap! it's 607am! shiiiiit. im crashing now. good "morning".
let's sit on those adrenaline pumped thrill rides together at the themepark. i grasped your hand tight. if this ride malfunctions, we'll die together. i love you to hell.
it's only a dream la. im still wishing...
Purple Rose; 2:24 PM
Thursday, May 11, 2006
just to have a little update. this is morning is seriously not a good one. and my insides are still raging with hatred.
motherfucker. first off, you tried to fucking break down my door, dont you have any fucking brains to know that you have the fucking key to my room? secondly, i slept so late the night before, i'm just too tired to move. and what, with your limited brain capacity up there you just had to do it. you brought this almost forgotten and old issue back up again. pulled my hair you fucking moron. i know you are my flesh and blood, but you just crossed the line. and i surely didnt regret raining those punches on your face back. sure, sure, i had enough of your threats, even if it were to be true, i'll always have someone i love to back me up. my mom. i fucking love her. and i fucking hate you. and im no stranger to this incident, it has happened a few times in the past, i thought we settled this once and for all and let it surpass our minds. i was very, very wrong indeed. you NEVER change. something this horrifying just HAD to happen near mothers' day.
one final thing, i will NEVER forgive you. what a fucking lousy parent you are. either you change ur ways, or i hope mom finds another man worthy of her love.
Purple Rose; 10:39 PM
alright. havent blogged in about a few days. was pissed by some stuff that happened today, but nvm i'll talk about that later, blog about what happened earlier first.
this wednesday. woke up early and was punctual for my music class for the first time in my life. class starts at 3pm, i was at the entrace at 2:58pm, so punctual eh? im proud of myself hahah. BUT one thing happened. the main door was locked -_- i was like wtf? kept knocking on the glass. nobody came out to attend to me. so i thought it maybe a holiday today, so i kinda came for no reason. but i decided not to leave yet, i decided to wait a while more. 12 minutes passed. then i saw a familiar lady for afar. she was briskly walking towards my direction. it's my teacher la. she's LATE!!! wtf?! a teacher late. maybe she wanted revenge because in the past i was never early for her lessons. class ended in a jiffy. then after that had a friend along and went to eat at BK, it was really not my choice to eat there, since other outlets were like shit so we were too hungry to think. bought the new xmen crappy meal. the burgers all seem to taste the same. only the fries was decent. some new crisscross fries. not bad at all. then went to explore the new sections of the place. mrs fields has really big fat cookies. they smell really good too haha.
proceed on to today. woke up hell early. 8am. didnt feel like sleeping back. bathed for an hour or so, and rushed off. yes, rushed. i reached at 924am, saw hordes of skss students pouring out from the main gate. i waited and waited. got a little impatient. so i sat somewhere near the playground and just relied on my ipod to keep me company. finally later i got a reply. but had to go all the way to cp instead -_- i know there is a good reason behind it anyway. took about a 6 minute walk to reach cp. and the mall is dark as hell...so nice la. majority of the shops were all closed. only a handful of skss students were loitering around. went up the the highest floor, bought a drink and went down to basement. finally met her. went to bistro delifrance. there were only like around 1 or 2 groups of people inside. and the mall was still dark. went in and chose our seats. the service fuking sux la. made our decision to order, and duno how many times the idiot walked past us, i kept waving non stop. he was just too blind. duno how many times he went to take orders of those who came after us -_- and there was this magical family who sat behind us and disappeared mysteriously later. finally got to order after daaamn long waiting. and the preparation of our meals took another 11 years. our meal was just 3 pieces of bread and orange juice? wats taking them so long? the food came later and it was just crappy la, not gonna eat another breakfast at delifrance again. our breakfast experience was further ruined later. thanks to some assholes.
got pissed by their presence. curse all of them to die a final destination styled death for irritating us. well not all, just those group of fucking guys. faggots. my entire morning was spoilt by them la. wanted to browse through metro to look for a dress for mom, they appeared there, went toilet, they appeared there. just wish the police would suddenly come and arrest them off la, for harrassment. guess wont be having breakfast outside with caroline again for some time.
reached home around 12 to 1 plus. idled on the pc for sometime before showering and going back to sleep. more of a nap actually. wanted to watch a movie with mom this evening, she changes her mind pretty quick. at first she said she doesnt wanna watch today, then later she called and asked me to book the tix online. the online booking system is a nightmare. firstly, everything went smoothly until the "payment method". i chose eNets at first as instructed by mom, then later she suddenly changed her mind and wanted to use the credit card instead -_- i had to redo the entire transaction. and the seats we chose earlier got blocked. sian. then i chose another pair of seats instead and this time everything went smoothly until i clicked "Confirm Transaction" my transaction got blocked this time thanks to some whore who was processing order online at the same time as i did. then my head was on fire. so i told myself, one last try later, if it's still blocked i'm not gona hell watch today. redid everything again 2 hours later, and this time it turned out to be successful. yay. Poseidon, 720pm, GV Plaza. then took a nap after all that hard work. woke up at 630, i showered 2 hours ago so i didnt wana shower again and just wore clothes, splat some wax on my out-of-bed(really) hair and went out. and ya, before i went out, my grandma gave me $50, this is really sudden, but the feeling rocks la, when someone gives u $$. caroline want a treat from me? lol.
was late, when i reached downstairs it was 645, and movie starts at 720. how on earth am i gona reach there on time? so i waited a while more, the fucking bus still isnt here, so heck, i settled for cab instead. this time i really need it. but i regretted later, the expressway was clogged up with vehicles. the entire journey was damn slow la. i think i can cycle faster than the taxi. bill amounted to $12. reached PS 5 minutes before the movie. became a pig and bought a lot of snacks for the movie. one medium sized popcorn, 2 hotdogs, a set of nachos and one large coke, about $13-$15. Poseidon, is a nice movie. those ship sinking scenes were for real, no computer graphics used. enjoyed it. and i didnt waste any food either, ate everything. basically that was it for the entire day. a crappy start, with a ruined breakfast experience, ending off the day on the right note.
got home and now, im blogging. waited for someone to come online but she didnt -_- so im feeling kinda tired now, it's a miracle la, its barely 1am, but sleeping early is good i guess. goodnight.
the gates of hell may be closing soon for you, but will the gates of heaven open for me? still wishing for the day to come, and let it happen.
Purple Rose; 8:12 AM
PROFILE
Kai or Kyle
sour 19
doesnt really intiate a conversation on MSN first, for some odd reason
music is his passion
has severe insomnia sometimes
loves to eat
aspires to become a real NINJA
wants a ragdoll kitty bad
Tokyo is his next dream holiday destination
fucking hates short hair
hates chelsea
driving license -__-
new shoes
to get out of NS as soon as possible
to be proficient in Japanese Language
to not be late when meeting up with friends
to stop spending unnecessarily
to try to crawl out of his anti-social shell
new PIANO!
more and MORE new MANGA to kill boredom spells
a shopping buddy : (
get to know more new friends.
more tops and jeans
get my lazy ass down to composing songs again
