Wednesday, April 12, 2006
yawn. even though im tired as hell. im still blogging at this witching hour of 3am on april 13th. today i went over to muneh's place just to play chess. it was fun la. because i won both matches thats why. before that i ate at RP's macdonalds, even though i hated mac, but bo bian, i ate kfc a few million times already, so just decided to settle for mac. i got this weird burger for free, i looked at the burger i sian already, just look at the amount of veges they loaded that thing with. vegetables cause cancer a recent study revealed. hahah. before i ordered, there was this pair of skss boys behind me, and later they ordered the very same meal as i did. i didnt feel a thing until later when i was returning to my seat, those kids even took around the same number of straws as i did. i wanted to make a super long straw, but they copied me. posers.... hahah.
the night before, i just couldnt sleep as usual. so then, i was still feeling depressed from what happened, i just turned to my guitar. and from there, i came up with a song, my very first song i composed. you know, through what had happened to me, most would think that i would compose a really saaaaad song, but in the end, i duno wtf but it turned out to have a rather happy tune. then i finalised the guitar parts and recorded it on my computer. i re-recorded over 5 times the same goddamn song, because it was really troublesome, i had to click "record" then i would have to run back to my guitar and play it. and once the song is done, i would have to put down my guitar and run back to my computer to click "stop" and sometimes, my computer lags and my recording skips. luckily im a patient guy.
here's the link for my demo anyway, a newly recorded version i just re-recorded about 2 hours ago. http://s39.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=2HU1LSRDCOBZ815U5AAHECL4JX
i have become a lazier fucker today, i cant believe i'm still blogging now and i havent fucking touched my music homework at all. and my head is spinning already, i feel sleepy for the very first time this year at this hour. i'm gona blog a little more if my head allows.
next week, people are starting a fresh new chapter in their lives. new school. new friends, new environment. and i'm still stuck. mostly everyone i know is gonna start their new life soon, and i'm gonna be a stale piece of bread, idle, and hanging out alone more often. it's just fucking boring la. japanese class has shrunk in size. now there's left with only one more longest standing student, the other guy has left for america for work. it's just less fun with lesser people around. no more Desi the hottie, Andrea the gymnast too. another boring weekend lies ahead of me.
i'm so gona get screwed tomorrow at music class. i need to slap myself soon, i cant go on like this. i need to discipline myself. just because of one problem, i'm robbing myself of oppurtunities. test date is impending quicker than ever, 13 more days. i'm so grateful that some people have confidence in me, i wanna thank all you guys. i cannot be too complacent too, or else mindef sucks me into their shithole, NS(national suicide)
from the start of this year i had 2 goals to achieve. firstly, my school of choice, i'm already halfway through the field, reaching the penalty area, will i miss this open goal, or do i slip and fall? secondly, a chance in love, obviously i blew the chance already. and i cant do anything about it already. only mourn its loss. and rely on nothing but hope now. it's day 3 of my mournings.
i still have copies of the cards. i stare at it every morning when i just woke up.
the wounds are still fresh. even though i might get too emotional at times, i still have self control. i do not slash my wrist or think i'm superman to jump down from buildings.
what's said in the past is meant, no turning back.
i wish i could be alright to sleep tonight.
no more visions of you in my sleep
i'm still far from it.
let time and music heal my wounds, slowly.
