<body><script type="text/javascript"> function setAttributeOnload(object, attribute, val) { if(window.addEventListener) { window.addEventListener('load', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }, false); } else { window.attachEvent('onload', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }); } } </script> <div id="navbar-iframe-container"></div> <script type="text/javascript" src="https://apis.google.com/js/platform.js"></script> <script type="text/javascript"> gapi.load("gapi.iframes:gapi.iframes.style.bubble", function() { if (gapi.iframes && gapi.iframes.getContext) { gapi.iframes.getContext().openChild({ url: 'https://www.blogger.com/navbar/15394149?origin\x3dhttp://imdyinghereinfrontofyou.blogspot.com', where: document.getElementById("navbar-iframe-container"), id: "navbar-iframe" }); } }); </script>



Wednesday, May 31, 2006

im feeling gay and hell tired. things have been turning ugly recently and i have no choice but to live it. thats the sad part about reality. the last night i simply couldnt sleep for the similar reasons la, thank god there were live soccer matches to watch and that made me feel slightly better. 630am. mom woke up, and i was forced to eat her crappy pills again. then i simply just lied down on the bed all the way till 930, when i finally got to sleep. forcing those thoughts out of my head. crying doesnt solve anything. it's pointless. i woke up later to shower after only 3 hours of pathetic sleep, and great, my heater's busted. i bathed in icy water. everything is turning against me. and i really felt like fuck in the mrt later, my head hurts and i felt like vomitting, my eyes are bloodshot and i never felt this bad before. hunger, depression.

and now im back home. im just gona kiss myself goodnight and try to gain back all the lost hours of sleep.

to someone, you know who you are. it's alright, even though i might be weighed down by your words, life is not always rosy as i always said, i have to bear with it. i push myself to smile and hold back a tear. but we're still friends, arent we? ; )

all those times, you cheered me up, i thank you. such a really nice friend. brought me up back to my feet when i was down. the only thing i cant change is the decision you've made. i respect your decision nevertheless. i only wish for one thing.. but sadly that'll never happen.

hope that words will move you.
i'll always be here for you, and waiting.
Purple Rose;
3:58 AM