So easy,

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

anyone miss me? bet no one did. ok. these past few days my phone's inbox has been flooding with SMSes, and i think i didnt reply to almost all of them except for the latest ones. so sorry to all those people. especially one. you know, depression is fucked up. and during these past painful 7 days, some things i should learn to let go and move on. just like the past. i remember saying to myself, last time, there is no use crying over spilt milk. hopefully asap my dad gets what he wants. and as long as *** loves *** life, i'll be happy. i am willing to wait for as long as it takes.

surprised to actually see that im blogging? because i got **** a few hours back and i'm feeling a little better. so refreshing la. been a long time since i ever did that. and i know i havent been online for some time, clear your thoughts, i never blocked any of you, it's either im out, feeling too fucked to talk to anyone, or just dont feel like switching on the computer. ok enough emo talk. life at school has been quite good recently. despite me giving the long face 86% of the time, every lesson was alright. with the exception of lecture classes. the first lecture of the week, called, "technical theatre" is the perfect lullaby. plus the room we had this lecture in was really dimly lit so i guess almost everyone fell asleep.

currently now, the thing that gets everyone busy is our Fusion Workshop thingi. i think i explained this before in one of my ancient entries. the fusion workshop is basically the collaboration of all foundation music students, of different streams, split into groups, to perform together eventually. and my group consists of 2 guitars, 2 violins, 1 indian flute and 1 drummer. seriously, i dont think we can ever churn out one decent performance by next monday, which is our performance day. because our leader, is the guy playing the indian flute and he is the one who chooses the song we're playing. and our song sounds damn indian. bo bian. he's our leader we have to follow and try to get our respective instruments to play along to his flute. recently yesterday, my group mates told me to bring my guitar as there would be a fusion practice session, and it was on a damn monday morning. i brought the "rice sack" to school and found out that the practice session was CANCELLED. what the fuck.

oh ya, on monday, had the monday blues again, so i was fucking late for the first lesson. by 20 minutes. it's not my fault! blame bus number 14. they only have 2 of those buses in the whole of singapore. miss one 14, and you can pitch a tent at the bustop already. so i missed ONE. actually i didnt miss it.. it was overcrowded. and i have a damn guitarbag on me so i wouldnt wanna risk my guitar being broken into half if i squeezed myself into the crowd. after school on monday, i hanged out with colin and played pool at paradiz center for an hour or so, and won him 3-1 that day. im feeling so good la, although he got the better hand of the match, he had longer streaks than i do, his finishes at the end got crappy so that explains why i won haha. i'm actually doing all this to make myself feel better, i have to let go off all these stuff inside that make me feel so insecure so i did. went to Mccafe @ Lido to have a nice cold milkshake, have a little chat and left for home. and i slept at 7pm that day. allll the wayyyy till 11am on tuesday.

On the road to recovery. though i still have inevitable flashes of some stuff in my dreams, at least insomnia didnt come to me. stay away for as long ever. i woke up on tuesday morning feeling all refreshed. who wouldnt? freaking 15 hours of sleep! showered and became my usual vain self before school starts. then realised i was actually LATE again. i took a fucking cab to serangoon MRT. $5 gone just like that. actually it SHOULDNT be that expensive. the driver was faggot. he drove one bloody big round around hougang to get to serangoon. bitch. got off and found out that there were an unusual number of secondary school students loitering around the MRT station. it was only 12pm. i thought all of them were supposed to be studying now in school? shit i forgot, today is the eve of NATIONAL DAY.

i wasnt late for school today. : ) i cant believe i was late for the past 5 days. just hope that i wont get blacklisted by the teachers la. today, first thing of the day was our lunchtime concert. heard some experimental music performed right in our faces. and seriously, i dont really like it. if you put any normal average person into the lunchtime concert today, he or she is gonna say that the music is SHIT. because experimental music basically sounds like a big mess of sounds. and this is where one needs to learn about the appreciation of certain types of music. and you take any average cheena girl, lets say, from SENGKANG secondary. i bet all my money in my wallet, she would listen to mostly chinese songs, and some english and other types of music would be considered trash to her. i'm taking this in a light hearted manner and im not referring to anyone ah. so hope i dont offend anyone. probably she wouldnt even appreciate the type of music i listen to. a blend of experimental, rock, pop punk, pop rock and screamo.

after the concert we had a 2 hour break. so one of us decided to go to Old Airport road which is like, walking distance from school and so we did. bought $2 of wanton noodles. and it was FUCKING nice la. probably gonna be on my list of favourite places to eat out. after school, went to bugis to meet muneh and wei. we played pool. and as usual i played like shit. then we left for Esplanade to watch the fireworks. most of you probably think like, what's so good about fireworks anyway? they're just fireworks what? but i think they are pure eye candy la, and i can never get enough of them, because the last time i watched a fireworks showcase was like so long ago. the whole of esplanade and marina square combined had a fucking huge crowd of people. there was huge human traffic everywhere. originally we wanted to eat at MAKANSUTRA, but queueing up there takes eternity, so we went to the foodcourt up at MArina Square. there was no difference in queue levels there. waited 955years. and finally got a seat.

watched the fireworks from outside the window. we could still see la, but it's just not as beautiful as in the eyes of the people standing directly outside at the balcony. our view at first got blocked by a lot of big heads. then we moved on to the other side to catch a view for at least the next 2 minutes. once i ended, all the singaporeans rushed for the escalator down. went back home after that. but i parted with them to meet someone else later. only got home at about 1am. bought wanton noodle back and now am eating it. it's so nice.

tomorrow's NATIONAL DAY. you patriotic people are probably gonna wear red. MARI KITA.
and though it's a public holiday, i still have school on that day at 11am. some replacement class. alright. it's fucking 3am. i have yet to shower. good nite.

all i wish now, is for you to be happy with your life
i climbed this ladder for as high as i thought i would be, and getting to know this just made me fall all the way down
but i get up, fake a smile, and i start climbing again.
the more i feel devasted and felt like killing you, actually made me love you even more.
see the irony here?
the power of faithfulness

Purple Rose;
11:08 AM