Wednesday, November 01, 2006
hullo. today was not a very good day. argh. i just have to slap some self discipline into myself la. if i continue my old ways, i'll definitely go back to the dark side again, like what happened 3 years ago. no fucking way im reliving those bad memories again.
gay WEDNESDAY.
there was supposed to be an AURAL retest at 945am. and how stupid of me. i slept around 5 am the night before... and naturally i find it extremely difficult to wake up at 7am. well, actually i did get it up at 7am, because of a natural instinct; my bladder was full, so i scampered to the toilet as fast as ever to relieve myself, then i dropped dead on the bed again. and so, by the time i regain consciousness, it was totally impossible to reach school on time. and if i still had the crazy urge to rush, i stopped a while to think that it wont do any good, as i would end up being awfully late, and making a fool out of myself in front of others, and i wouldnt wanna lose face. since i know my aural teacher is that sarcastic..
but, seriously. this is becoming more fucked up. i must force myself, in some way to sleep early. the more i oversleep, the more i miss classes, the more i miss classes, the more i dont gain knowledge, and when that happens, i dont know what is going on, and when i dunno what's going on, i will start to panic, and when i panic, i will do do badly in exams. and this is like some sort of chain reaction la, eventually leading to something that i dont wanna end up being. back to where i was.
since dad was at home, i HAD to do something to show that i'm "going" school. but somehow, it was not really "me". i wouldnt leave the house without wax, and wearing SLIPPERS? but heck, that's what i did, all an act to cover up. actually all that "covering up" wasnt even necessary in the first place as my dad was home but SLEEPING. i decided to go out as i wouldnt wanna waste my day, sleeping at home like a block of wood. and i hate staying home anyway.
but the question is.. WHERE TO GO?
i didnt take much time to decide. and since im dressed so CASUALLY, slippers la, so ah pek. i just went downstairs to Hougang POint's Macdonalds outlet for a late breakfast. it was only 1135am then. and by the time i settled down to have my meal, it was quite a peaceful setting, not much people were around. and i like it. and sOoOn, more hougang sec kids start pouring in and the place was getting noisier. but i got that issue fixed, just plug into my world of music. my IPOD.
took out my japanese work to revise for JLPT 4. did the 2003 paper. it was quite a breeze for me. but i cant get too complacent... later got 842948 careless mistakes. and sooOo, after 2 hours of being a "diligent" student, i finally got sick of sitting for too long, and left the place to go home. dad was already awake by then. but he didnt suspect a thing. so, yea, im good. hahah.
so basically. the whole of today, i just spent 2 hours outside, and im back home again. and thats kinda boring la. i'm wondering how my other friends faring in school. oh ya, some of them have no school today. priority of being a classical student. and time passed rather sLoWlY... and the sky started having mood swings... turning really BLACK. and it poured. so im thankful i wasnt out there, shivering and being drenched in the rain like a few days ago.
i laid on my bed. just letting thoughts go though my mind. both good and bad. hugged a pillow. and my eyes were starting to close. and there, im napping. in such good weather anyway. woke up later just in time for GOONG. i kinda shed a tear for the second prince in this episode. because the way he felt in the show was similar to the way im feeling too.
"it's no use trying to get something out of your reach."
the way the princess reprimanded him was a very "in-your-face" type of rejection. and tears fell. oh my. that's so sad la. i feel for him.
okok. then my mom got home to watch GOONG with me till it ended, and we went down to hougang point below together to the optical shop. i forgot to mention this earlier, my spectacles gave way and one side came out, so my glasses are as good as "broken". and my mom kept nagging at me. but it isnt my fault! what can i do when it just had to drop off just like dat? so... after choosing through the new designs, i finally picked the one which suited my face. and it's another black rimmed one la, quite similar to the old one. and my degree increased for my right eye by 25 degrees. im turning blind..
and here is a picture of my Death Notebook. dont piss me off or i'll write your name in it. hahah. as if it'll ever happen. i WISHED.
and im having second thoughts about tomorrow. oh. i just dont know la.
i was a fool.
my regrets were too late.
I know that it cant be turned back
i cried my eyes out, but my heart wont stop loving you.
