Monday, November 06, 2006
hullo. havent been updating in the past 5 days or so. why? because my life is boring. and for the past 2 days, i havent stepped a foot out of my house. just staying indoors, wasting every second of my life, doing nothing. and ruining myself with peach tea almost every night. An average of 9 glasses of peach tea a day. and i could see my future already. from what i've done in the past, i took full responsibility of my actions, im facing the consequences of it. i expect a really rocky two months ahead. oh. im such a fool.
SUNDAY.
peach tea overdose the night before. uncontrollable pissing until about 5am. slept at 530am. and the next morning, i had to go to music class, but i didnt go in the end. plain tired and i was beyond time. and today was probably one of the most boring-est days in my life. i stayed home the whole day. parents left together with grandma to go somewhere, i was asked to follow, but i declined. from 5pm onwards, i was a lonely boy. and they wont return till about 11pm. stoning online was killing me, so i watched Battle Royale on my laptop. but before doing that, i went down to cheers below to grab a movie snack. i have a reason to like Cheers now because they had a new snack in store which is a fat guy's dream come true. Nachos with cheese, those you can find at any movie snack bar. the exact same thing. all i have to do is just grab one of those plastic trays, a bag of plain Nachos, go up to the vending machine to retrieve fresh, warm cheese, and in generous servings too. what's best, all these for JUST $2.05! i felt like a fool paying up to $4++ at movie snack bars for the same damn thing. RIPOFFs. but also, i have a reason to hate the new CHeers outlet. they have downgraded from a 24 hour convenience store to a measely 7am-11pm opening hour. damn it. and most of the time i crave for snacks from 1am onwards.
after buying what's necessary, went up to start watching Battle Royale. for those who dont know, i could give a brief synopsis of this japanese movie. it is quite an old movie, released in 2000. i watched it before, when i was 13 i think. The movie is about this new Law released by the government, which carefully selects candidates for the BR program. so who are the candidates? most high school dropouts, and teenagers who are rude to their elders. firstly, those selected are drugged and brought to a secluded island, still unconscious, and worse, unaware that they are EVEN inside the program. and the main objective for all of them is to kill each other till there's only one remaining survivor on the island, in a span of 3 days. and none of them could escape this "game" because all of them have belts secured around their necks, and they are carefully monitored on the radar, and any attempt to remove the belt would trigger it to explode, and causing a really messy death. and if no winner is declared after 3 days, all the belts would activate, and everyone dies. in my opinion, this law is sick and sadistic. but it's just a movie anyway.
after the movie, it was barely 10pm, and i kinda forgot what i did already. so that's a boring sunday rounded up.
MONDAY. (today)
it was no better than yesterday. once again, i didnt go out, because i would be wasting my time lurking around the streets of town with nothing in mind. actually, i had plans to cut my hair, after giving some thoughts, i decided to drop the idea. i'll let it grow longer first. and i want a long fringe this time, goodbye to short fringe days. yesterday, at about 10pm, i drank my last glass of peach tea because the bottle of tea concentrate finished. but i got that problem solved today, a new one purchased of course. ate at mac downstairs as a late lunch. went upstairs back to watch Battle Royale 2. stoned a little while before Goong started. but things changed a little for the night. went to CP for dinner till about 10pm. and that's monday.
And now. im just sitting around, planning out what should i do for tmr(tuesday). if i stay home AGAIN, that will be a new record. but i have no intention of breaking records. i NEED to leave the house. and this thursday, would mark my last day in school for the holidays. i just have to attend a practical test for only TEN minutes in school, and thats it. actually, seriously, if i still attended it, my fate would still remain the same. but i'll just show myself anyway. i've downgraded to a "loner" status in school already. and that sucks.
and, for the holidays, i have a part time job in mind, which is the same job i did back exactly one year ago. a game promoter at mostly toys r us branches. but i only have a 50/50 chance of getting back the job, because the boss kinda dislikes me, because i made him lose one day worth of sales last year as i didnt restock on games. but that was my VIRGIN try as a promoter what?! i guess the working world out there is harsh. i'm reluctant that he'll hire me back. but i hope he does. i already have written out a list of things that i wanna get for december. eg: either a new hair color, technical hair perm or BOTH, a nintendo DS lite, new jeannnnnssss. more shoes. and duh, new shirts.
urgh.
may tomorrow not suck for me.
When I see you I begin to shake with nervousness,
no matter how I try to turn away and tell myself that it isnt true
I'm standing here like this behind you,
laughing even though it hurts, smiling even though I'm sad
the Pain of accepting certain facts in life
